relationships

I Want to Stay in the Country, But My Boyfriend’s not Ready for Marriage

It sucks when in a relationship everything is perfect but one wants just companionship and the other wants commitment. I’ve been dating my bf for a little over a year now. This is my happiest relationship so far. He treats me really well and I balance out his energy perfectly too. But, I’m foreign on a visa, and my visa is expiring in a year.

When I had the talk with him on whether or not he would consider marriage as a way to keep me here, he backed out. He has his reasons, but I think in reality just like what you said in your writing, he’s probably only looking for companionship and will never commit not matter how much he loves or cares about the person. Because for him, the fear of losing freedom outweighs all the benefits he get from a relationship.

It’s so funny how the universe works. This just happened yesterday, and today I saw your post. We are all on our own journeys, and sometimes even the almost perfect person might still not meant to be.

-Amy G.

relationships

He Cheated on Me, and the Woman Says She’s Pregnant

I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend about 4yrs now.  I’m 20 and he’s 25. We started experiencing a long distance relationship within 2 yrs. I know he loves me but he has been cheating me there, and he’s now back and his girl has been calling saying that the baby she has is my boyfriend’s. He’s denying it and pleading for me to forgive him while they’ve been fucking up there. It’s really hard for me. What should I do? I’ve left the place we share together he’s saying he ain’t in love with her, and I should not cry since he fucked up with the girl who is far from us? Super Confused

-Emmy

Dating, relationships

Living Like You’re Single in a Long Distance Relationship

My partner and I first began our now 3 year relationship via long distance. I moved down to Atlanta from Houston to be with him full time after 1 year but we were sleeping with other people while still out of state. I’ve been here for the last 2 years and after the honeymoon phase has worn out I discovered my mood has sunken into depression and anxiety due to being away from my family and friends back in my hometown.

This is my first long term live-in relationship and first foray into living away from home altogether. I noticed that I had stepped out here and there with each trip out of town due to my feelings of unhappiness. We were now considering moving back to Houston but I recently slipped up with an ex a few months ago on a trip back to Houston that my hometown partner found out about via hacking my phone.

I’m confused if I am truly depressed about my current relationship being monogamous and feelings of being stifled domestically. Or unhappy with being away from my hometown. We recently started couple counseling and each started therapy for clarity in our emotions. Should I try to make this work or leave while the going is good?

-Needy Neurotic or Nympho

Dating, relationships

I’m In a Long Distance Relationship, and I Think He Cheated

Hello there,

My boyfriend just got back from another city. Now I’ve found out he cheated on me while we are in 5 months long distance relationship. Seen pictures of his and a woman’s clothes in a hotel. But I already had that feeling inside me that he is hiding something from me. What should I do? Haven’t talked to him yet. I am confused on what should I feel. Should I forgive him? Damn this feeling.

-Maecats

Dating, relationships

Top Six Reasons Why Getting into a Relationship is So Hard

While surfing through IG posts and Twitter feeds, I often see people complaining about the current dating landscape. Most of these individuals appear to be great guys and girls who are looking for love, only to be constantly let down by relationship prospects. After doing some thinking and digging, I decided to create a list of six concepts I believe are getting in the way of individuals landing bae.

relationships

I’m Pregnant and My Boyfriend Doesn’t Want the Baby

I have a big problem now. I don’t even know what to do I’m so confused. I just find out I’m 12 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend wants me to abort the baby, but guess what hurts me more I just realized he has a 2 year old daughter. I kept asking him if there was anything I needed to know, but he kept on saying he has told me everything. I’m so mad. I need advice he doesn’t even know I have found out, I need advice please advise me. Help a sister.

-anonymous

friendship, relationships

Violating Friend Code: I Think My Friend is Trying to Take My Ex

Tavion,

First and foremost, I love what you’re doing here. Like that you created something for us by us. It’s like you’re the FUBU of advice or something. That’s definitely a throwback and not the point. The point and the question I have is about my friend and ex.

Here’s the thing, my ex and I broke up about three months ago after a two year relationship. We are still cool. About a month ago a friend of mind reached out to me and wanted to know if he could hit up my ex to help him start his business. My friend is trying to flip houses, and my ex is a realtor assessor, so it makes sense for my friend to want my ex’s advice. Of course I was cool with them talking because I support friends chasing bags. However, my friend contacted him a month ago, and now it seems like him and my ex are cool. As a matter of fact, they are too damn cool.

I feel like my friend is breaking friend code by building a friendship with someone I used to date. Especially, because I’m starting to think my friend may be catching feelings for my ex. My friend has been sneaky in the past with another friend’s ex, and I don’t want him pulling that with me. If you were me, what would you do?

From,

Believer in the Code

Pop Culture, relationships

My Boyfriend is White, and Doesn’t Get Why I’m So Mad

Dear T,

While I love my man, we’ve recently come into a problem I’m not sure how to feel about. In light of what’s been happening with Gucci and Prada and their blackface controversies, my boyfriend and I recently had a conversation about it. Before I go any further you should know that I’m black and my boyfriend is white. The reason I guess that matters is because he basically told me he understands white people dressing in blackface is wrong, and he would never do it, but thought people may be overreacting to Gucci and Prada designs. He thinks the companies had designers who were just designing, and had no racist intentions behind their designs.

I responded to him by telling him that may be true, but that doesn’t negate the fact that the designs are offensive. I told him the black community has every right to be offended and boycott the labels. He responded that not everything has to be about black and white, which really pissed me off. As much as I love my boyfriend, I’m disappointed in his attitude about this. He’s not racist clearly, but damn it. Even though we agreed to disagree, I’m still salty. I guess the question I have is how do I get him to see that what Gucci and Prada did is a big deal? Heck, how do I now not look at him differently?

Thanks,

Mike & Ike 95

relationships

I Don’t Know If I Can Handle My Boyfriend’s Drinking Problem

Dear T,

Point blank, what would you do if you think your boyfriend had an alcohol problem? My boyfriend and I been together for about 5 months, and over the past 2 months I realized I’m not a big fan of him drunk. I mean he’s always liked drinking the occasional drink. Hell, we met at a club. I used to think his drunken antics were a little cute. He would get very talkative, and his sex game improved ironically. Lately though, when he drinks he gets a little belligerent, and he’s drinking more frequently. In fact, we now usually get into our biggest arguments after he’s been drinking, and since he’s been doing more of that, we argue often.

I’ve asked him if he thought maybe he had a problem, but he says he doesn’t and I’m just hyping up the situation. I love my boyfriend and I want us to work out, but I don’t know if I want to deal with him and the drinking like that, and he doesn’t acknowledge a problem. So what would you do? What should I do?

-Want Him to Stop

relationships

I’m NOT Cheating! My Boyfriend’s Insecurities Are Driving Me Crazy

Tavion,

I can’t deal with my new boyfriend’s insecurities. We officially got into a relationship about a month ago, and ever since then something flipped with him. At first it started with him jokingly talking about guys commenting on my posts or tweets, and me liking the comments. He would hit me with one of those “oh you getting all the hoes still” and laugh, so I would shrug my shoulders and laugh it off. Then he progressively would mention the commenting without laughing, and legit arguments would pop off. To help ease the tension I became a little more careful about the kind of things I would post or tweet, but still tried to be me.

It’s not just that social media thing anymore though. He gets jealous if we’re out and I stop to talk to any guy. Whether they are a friend, work colleague, or whatever, he wants to get all up under me all of a sudden and practically demands an introduction. Then there’s the fact that he hates when I go out with my friends without him. The part that really has me ready to throw the whole relationship away is we got into an argument a few days ago about why I won’t give him passwords to my IG and twitter accounts, and to unlock my phone. I stood my ground and told him no, and he kind of dropped it, but the whole convo just left me feeling salty.

To be clear, outside of the insecurity issues, I love my boyfriend. He really is a great guy, and I know he’s acting like this because his two boyfriends before me cheated on him apparently. But I can’t do much more of this. What should I do?

From,

BF Problems