friendship, The Lifestyle

No Homo

Dear T,

I’m having a slight issue with my straight group of friends. I know it’s 2015, but they still say things like “no homo” or “pause” when they make a comment that sounds gay to them. They know I’m gay, and accept me as such, but they still use these terms. Although I wasn’t bothered by this initially, I’m starting to get a little offended now. Do you think I should address my issue with my friends? Or should I just swallow my feelings, and be grateful I have straight friends that accept me for me? Thanks for the help.

From,

Cavs Fan85

friendship

Supporting What Doesn’t Make Sense!

Dear T,

My best friend has been in a relationship with this guy for about 6 months now, and I can’t stand him.  For the life of me, I cannot understand why they are still together.  There are plenty of reasons for my friend to dump this guy.  For starters, this guy claims to be in between jobs, and has been taking money from my friend for a month.  Then there is the fact that the guy constantly talks to my friend about being too feminine.  When I’m around them both, my friend tries to butch up and be something he’s not.  And to top it all off, dude has cheated on my friend.  I keep telling my friend to dump his ass, but he can’t let him go.  How long am I expected to tolerate this man and not cuss him out?  I appreciate the advice.

Thanks,

Angry Woe

friendship, relationships

“What About Your Friends……”

Dear T,

I have this best friend and we’ve just not been clicking lately.  I’ve been with my current boyfriend for about 8 months, and ever since then my best friend has been distant.  We don’t talk as often, and I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve seen him lately.  And before you think it, I’m not one of those people that get lost in a relationship and completely forget about his friends. My other friendships are just fine.  I talk to my other friends nearly all the time.  I thought maybe my best friend had some issue with my boyfriend, but my bff claims to like him.  Plus, my boyfriend is the nicest guy and gets along with everyone.  What do you think the problem is?  What should I do to get my friend back?

Sincerely,

Mysterious Gay

friendship, The Lifestyle

His Business, Is Not Your Business

Dear T,

I have this female best friend, and over the past three months she has developed a huge crush on this guy we know.  He’s fine, a recent college grad, and charming.  I think he’s a good catch, but I’m pretty sure he’s gay.

Shortly after meeting this guy, my best friend and I became Facebook friends with him.  Since then, he’s been messaging me directly pretty regularly.  We talk about our life goals, our experiences in college, sports, and other things.  While that sounds normal, when we have our Facebook chats it’s usually after 11:00pm.  Also, he uses smiley wink faces in our conversations.  And looking at his Facebook profile, I learned he loves Oprah and Rhianna, and we have multiple friends in common that I know for sure are gay.  So I guess my question here, is do I tell my best friend this guy is gay so she can move on?  Or do I keep the information to myself?

Sincerely,

Trying This Out

friendship

“Blurred Lines”

Dear T,

I just found out that my “best friend” has been having sex with my ex-boyfriend.  While my ex and I haven’t been together in about five years, he and I still talk on the phone almost every week.  Heck, his mom still calls me from time to time.  Even though I don’t want him, I can’t help but feel upset that he thought it was okay to sleep with my “best friend.”

I’ve known my “best friend” for about ten years.  I know he can be kind of a man whore, and he has at times crossed boundaries, but he has never crossed boundaries with me.   I’m having a hard time forgiving him, especially because he acts like it was no big deal. 

What am I supposed to do in this situation?  Do I just throw ten years of friendship down the drain?  And what do I do about the ex?

Sincerely,

Pissed and Confused