friendship, The Lifestyle

His Business, Is Not Your Business

Dear T,

I have this female best friend, and over the past three months she has developed a huge crush on this guy we know.  He’s fine, a recent college grad, and charming.  I think he’s a good catch, but I’m pretty sure he’s gay.

Shortly after meeting this guy, my best friend and I became Facebook friends with him.  Since then, he’s been messaging me directly pretty regularly.  We talk about our life goals, our experiences in college, sports, and other things.  While that sounds normal, when we have our Facebook chats it’s usually after 11:00pm.  Also, he uses smiley wink faces in our conversations.  And looking at his Facebook profile, I learned he loves Oprah and Rhianna, and we have multiple friends in common that I know for sure are gay.  So I guess my question here, is do I tell my best friend this guy is gay so she can move on?  Or do I keep the information to myself?

Sincerely,

Trying This Out

friendship

“Blurred Lines”

Dear T,

I just found out that my “best friend” has been having sex with my ex-boyfriend.  While my ex and I haven’t been together in about five years, he and I still talk on the phone almost every week.  Heck, his mom still calls me from time to time.  Even though I don’t want him, I can’t help but feel upset that he thought it was okay to sleep with my “best friend.”

I’ve known my “best friend” for about ten years.  I know he can be kind of a man whore, and he has at times crossed boundaries, but he has never crossed boundaries with me.   I’m having a hard time forgiving him, especially because he acts like it was no big deal. 

What am I supposed to do in this situation?  Do I just throw ten years of friendship down the drain?  And what do I do about the ex?

Sincerely,

Pissed and Confused