friendship

Drunken Nights

Dear T,

I don’t really have a question about dating or relationships, but I have a question nonetheless.  When me and my group of friends go out, one of them, who I’ll refer to as X, always gets to drunk.  I mean we could all be drinking, but usually without fail X will go too far.  When he gets drunk he starts talking very loudly and aggressively with us and strangers.  Plus, X gets super flirtatious.  Many times he has grabbed some guy’s a$$ or crotch. And often the grabbing is not wanted.  Needless to say, his behavior has caused my friends and me to be embarrassed and involved in several altercations.  We tried talking to X about his behavior, and he either doesn’t get that he is reckless drunk, or he doesn’t care.  What would you do in this situation?

From,

Ricky Minaj

friendship, The Lifestyle

Supporting What You Don’t Understand!

Dear T,

I have a question for you.  I’m not actually gay, but my best friend of 12 years has recently come out to me, and I’m not quite sure how to proceed with our friendship.  We met each other at our home church, and there I learned and accepted to a degree that homosexuality is not right in God’s eyes.  So still believing that, how do I give my friend my approval of his new lifestyle?  I realize you are not necessarily a leading scholar on Christianity, but I came across one of your posts on Instagram and you appear to be gay and Christian.  So I thought you could offer up some advice.  Btw, please don’t take any offense to my letter.

Best regards,

Ashley from Around the Way

friendship, The Lifestyle

Too Much Support!!!!

Dear T,

My best friend is getting on my last damn nerve lately. She was incredibly supportive when I told her I’m gay, but now her support is a little annoying.  Out of nowhere she has started talking to me using gay lingo. It’s like she thought I no longer understood her if she didn’t say things like chile, and hunny, and shady boots.  She also keeps trying to set me up with every gay man she knows of, not knowing anything about the guy other than he’s gay.  I think the most irritating thing is that she now tries to use me as her own personal gaydar.  Every time she dates a new guy, she’s asking me if I think he gets down. So how do I guess check her, without losing a friend or hurting her feelings?

Appreciate the advice,

Gaydar89

Dating, friendship

Breaking out of “The Friend Zone”

Hi T,

I have a question for you.  Is it really impossible to get out of the friend zone?  I have this good friend that I’ve been cool with for about 4 years, and I want more than friendship.  When he and I first met, it was at a mutual friend’s birthday party.  I remember initially thinking at that party how sexy he was, and that I wanted to sleep with him bad.  However, we wound up just talking that night and built a really great platonic relationship.  Since then, we’ve been in the friend zone.  And it’s not like I’ve been pining away for him for four years or anything.  I’ve dated other guys, but it’s never worked out with any of them.  He on the other hand, has been in a relationship with some dude for 2 years.  Although, word on the street is his boyfriend has been cheating on him.  I guess that’s beside the point.  Anyway, do you think I should risk our friendship and tell my friend how I feel about him?  I was actually thinking of a plan to tell him about his boyfriend sleeping around on him, comfort him for a week or two, then make my move.  I appreciate the help.

Thankfully,

Gay Cleveland Brown.

friendship, The Lifestyle

No Homo

Dear T,

I’m having a slight issue with my straight group of friends. I know it’s 2015, but they still say things like “no homo” or “pause” when they make a comment that sounds gay to them. They know I’m gay, and accept me as such, but they still use these terms. Although I wasn’t bothered by this initially, I’m starting to get a little offended now. Do you think I should address my issue with my friends? Or should I just swallow my feelings, and be grateful I have straight friends that accept me for me? Thanks for the help.

From,

Cavs Fan85

friendship

Supporting What Doesn’t Make Sense!

Dear T,

My best friend has been in a relationship with this guy for about 6 months now, and I can’t stand him.  For the life of me, I cannot understand why they are still together.  There are plenty of reasons for my friend to dump this guy.  For starters, this guy claims to be in between jobs, and has been taking money from my friend for a month.  Then there is the fact that the guy constantly talks to my friend about being too feminine.  When I’m around them both, my friend tries to butch up and be something he’s not.  And to top it all off, dude has cheated on my friend.  I keep telling my friend to dump his ass, but he can’t let him go.  How long am I expected to tolerate this man and not cuss him out?  I appreciate the advice.

Thanks,

Angry Woe

friendship, relationships

“What About Your Friends……”

Dear T,

I have this best friend and we’ve just not been clicking lately.  I’ve been with my current boyfriend for about 8 months, and ever since then my best friend has been distant.  We don’t talk as often, and I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve seen him lately.  And before you think it, I’m not one of those people that get lost in a relationship and completely forget about his friends. My other friendships are just fine.  I talk to my other friends nearly all the time.  I thought maybe my best friend had some issue with my boyfriend, but my bff claims to like him.  Plus, my boyfriend is the nicest guy and gets along with everyone.  What do you think the problem is?  What should I do to get my friend back?

Sincerely,

Mysterious Gay

friendship, The Lifestyle

His Business, Is Not Your Business

Dear T,

I have this female best friend, and over the past three months she has developed a huge crush on this guy we know.  He’s fine, a recent college grad, and charming.  I think he’s a good catch, but I’m pretty sure he’s gay.

Shortly after meeting this guy, my best friend and I became Facebook friends with him.  Since then, he’s been messaging me directly pretty regularly.  We talk about our life goals, our experiences in college, sports, and other things.  While that sounds normal, when we have our Facebook chats it’s usually after 11:00pm.  Also, he uses smiley wink faces in our conversations.  And looking at his Facebook profile, I learned he loves Oprah and Rhianna, and we have multiple friends in common that I know for sure are gay.  So I guess my question here, is do I tell my best friend this guy is gay so she can move on?  Or do I keep the information to myself?

Sincerely,

Trying This Out

friendship

“Blurred Lines”

Dear T,

I just found out that my “best friend” has been having sex with my ex-boyfriend.  While my ex and I haven’t been together in about five years, he and I still talk on the phone almost every week.  Heck, his mom still calls me from time to time.  Even though I don’t want him, I can’t help but feel upset that he thought it was okay to sleep with my “best friend.”

I’ve known my “best friend” for about ten years.  I know he can be kind of a man whore, and he has at times crossed boundaries, but he has never crossed boundaries with me.   I’m having a hard time forgiving him, especially because he acts like it was no big deal. 

What am I supposed to do in this situation?  Do I just throw ten years of friendship down the drain?  And what do I do about the ex?

Sincerely,

Pissed and Confused