Dating, friendship

I Want the Man My Friend is Dating

T,

I’m in a bit of a situation, and it’s not a good one.  I’ll try to keep this short and to the point. So about 3 months ago, me and my friend went to a house party and I met this guy I’ll call Mark.  Mark and I were really vibing with each other, but at the time I was in a relationship.  Because I was committed to my ex, but thought Mark was a good guy, I introduced him to my friend. Since that night, the two have been talking and went on dates, but aren’t in a relationship.  My friend says he likes Mark, but isn’t sure he wants to be tied down to one person. Heck, he dates Mark and two other people right now.

The dilemma is, Mark and I have been texting since we met.  Our conversations weren’t romantic or anything at first, because again I was boo’d up and I introduced him to my friend. We would talk about sports, shows, and life in general. However, in the back of my mind I still felt drawn to him, and I’m pretty sure the attraction is mutual. Since I’ve broken up with my ex about a month ago, Mark and I have been flirting. Trust me I know it’s bad because Mark is talking to my friend.  Well what’s even worse, is that I’m tired of sneaking behind friend’s back, and I’m tired of not being able to act on my attraction.  I want to be with Mark. With all that said, I’m not sure how to handle this problem. Hopefully, you can help.

From,

Unintentional Triangle

friendship

They Aren’t Your Friend!

As I get older and wiser, I’ve come to realize that my dad taught me one of the most valuable lessons in life.  Even though he wasn’t really around when I was growing up, and we aren’t particularly close, he actually passed on some words of wisdom to me that I haven’t forgotten and stand by daily.  About twelve years ago or so, my dad told me, “you may think you have a lot of friends now, but in life you really only have a few friends, and many associates.”  Now if you swap out “associates” for “acquaintances”, this one quote should stir something in your spirit.  And if doesn’t, perhaps you just haven’t reached a place in life when you’ve been hurt by enough people or seen enough things.  But either way, my father had and has an amazing point.

friendship

How to Tell A Friend Crashing On Your Couch It’s Time to Go!

T,

I noticed you give legit advice, so I guess I’m trying this thing out.  I’m having a roommate situation.  I guess it’s really more of a friend situation.  So for the past two months I’ve been letting a close friend stay with me, and I’m kind of tire of having him around. He relocated to my city because he needed a fresh start, but he hasn’t found a job yet.  Which means he’s been here rent free.  I don’t think I would care so much if he weren’t eating all my food and inviting himself to come with me every time I leave the house.  I have to be comfortable when I come home.  Basically, how do I put my friend out of my house without losing him in my life?

Thanks for whatever advice you give,

Martin Payne92

friendship

What RHOA Really Taught Us about Friendships?

By now, most of the country has been exposed to the web of lies that was season nine of The Real Housewives of Atlanta.  As entertaining, or perhaps just shocking, the battle between Kandi and Phaedra was, or the relationship shift between Porsha and Shamea may have been, I find myself thinking about the underlying notions of friendship.  I’m one of those people that believes there are certain rules to friendship whether people are on good terms, or they fall out.  And all that unfolded on this season seems to break a few of these rules.  So in essence, RHOA this season taught us what not to do when it comes to friendships.

friendship

You Can’t Travel with Everybody! Some Friends Have to Stay at Home.

Dear T,

How do you tell a friend he’s not invited on a trip?  So I have this close friend who I’ve known for over 2 years.  He moved to the area, I met him at my old job, and we just clicked.  Since he started hanging out with me, I naturally started bringing him around my group of friends.  Which was cool at first. My friends seemed to like him and they would even hang with him when I wasn’t available.  Well last summer we all took a trip to Vegas for my other friend’s birthday.  That’s when the “new” friend showed his ass a bit.  He got drunk nearly every night and was super belligerent and very sloppy.  I mean he literally got so bad one night he got us into a fight on the Vegas strip with some other guys over nothing. We almost got arrested.  He also kept trying to kiss my one friend in the mouth, and needless to say my friend was not interested. Eventually the new friend apologized to all of us and we forgave him, but my old friends stopped hanging around him as much.

Long story short, my group of friends and I have been planning a trip to Punta Cana for my 25th birthday, and all my friend are on board to go.  However, through texts I found out that my original group of friends don’t want my newer friend to go on the trip.  They’ve even said they’ll consider not going on trip if this guy is going. I understand their concern, but now I don’t know what to do.  He already knows about the trip. Hoping you can help.  Sorry if this is a little long winded.

From,

Frankie no Neffe,

Dating, friendship

Is It Cool to Date the Ex of a Friend of a Friend?

So T,

What obligation do I have to a friend of a friend?  I met this guy at a club about three weeks ago, and we’ve been talking ever since.  Well I recently showed my best friend a picture of the guy, and he informs me a friend of his used to be with him.  Now, I know the friend he was talking about, but he isn’t my friend.  At most, he is an acquaintance.  My friend said I may want to back off this new guy, because he has history with someone I know.  However, I really like this guy, and I’ve only seen my friend’s friend in passing.  Am I wrong for wanting to continue seeing this new man?

-No Limit91

friendship

My Friend Hates My Man Tracks

T,

My friend just pissed me off, and I’m hoping you can help. I recently got man tracks installed and I thought I looked good. But when I asked him what he thought, he told me I look ‘foolish’. Then asked me why I would do this. I didn’t tell him initially, but what he said made me mad. Don’t I have a reason to be upset here though? What would you do if you were in my shoes?

-Head and Shoulders

friendship

I Can’t Do Clubs Anymore, I’m a Homebody

T,

What the heck is wrong with being a homebody? I mean truly.  My friends complain from time to time that I never want to go out on the weekend.  Which is true.  However, I don’t really enjoy it anymore.  I’ll go out on the rare occasion, but I just don’t want to be a regular these days.  Why should I pay to have a mediocre time hanging out, when I can have a good time hanging at home for free?  Don’t get me wrong, I love my friends and spending time with them, but I just rather hang out with them at my place, their place, or even a happy hour.  Anywho, what are your thoughts?

-Get Me Home

friendship

Giving Unsolicited Advice to a Mother

Dear T,

I’m going to try and keep this brief.  I’ve been friends with this girl for a little over a year.  Recently, I have been going over to her house to hang out from time to time, and noticed how she treats her children.  She has two boys and treats them both completely different. The youngest, she babies a lot and caters to his needs.  With her young teenage son, she is a bit harder on him.  I’m all for tough love, but she treats him like some neighbor’s son instead of her own.   Better yet, it’s like the teenager is Cinderella, and the youngest is one of the sisters. Except in this situation, the youngest is not mean at all, and the oldest is biologically my friend’s child. He rarely cracks a smile when I’m over there.  When I tried talking to him one on one, he was reluctant to share his feelings with me.  Everything in me is telling me to mind my business, and let my friend parent how she wants to parent.  However, she recently shared with me that the youngest boy asked her why the oldest boy hates him.  It seemed to break her heart, and I want to tell her that it’s her fault.  What should I do here?  Sorry if it’s not that brief.

-Cautiously concerned.