friendship

How Do you Tell Your Best Friend The Guy He’s Seeing is NO Good?

Dear Tavion,

The problem I’m having lately is with my best friend and the guy he’s been dating.  See my best friend is one of the sweetest guys in the world. He’ll do anything for you, is always there when you need him, and always tries to see the good in people.  Me on the other hand, I’m not so trusting of people, and I’m definitely not so trusting of my friend’s man.  My gut tells me this guy is using my friend.  From what my friend tells me, every time he and this guy go out, my friend always pays.  The guy doesn’t even offer.  I also found out that my friend recently paid for this guy’s phone bill. I want to scream to my friend he’s being stupid and probably being used because he has some money, but my friend can be sensitive sometimes. Last time I tried to tell him about a man he was seeing, he got upset and we didn’t speak for a few days.  Keep in mind that I was actually right. How do I handle this situation this go around?

-Philly Tommy

friendship, relationships

I Have Forgiven My Boyfriend, but My Friends Haven’t. What Do I Do?

T,

What would you do if you were me? I’m having a hard time getting my friends, my sister, and my cousin to like my boyfriend. No matter what I do, they act like they can’t give him a break, and he’s done nothing to them. They are always cordial to him or whatever, minus my sister, but anytime we all hang out you can tell there is tension in the air.  It’s gotten to the point where I don’t even bring him around when I’m with them and vice versa, and that’s no way to live.  I want everybody to accept my baby and love him like I do.  Or at least be happy I’ve found a good man.

If you’re thinking he’s done something to my friends and family, you’re wrong.  He hasn’t done a thing to them. Directly anyway.  My boyfriend cheated on me twice and my crew supported me through it each time. When I told them he changed when he and I got back together this last time, they didn’t buy it. So again, what would you do if you were me?

From,

Vic 94

Dating, friendship

Friend or Bae?…. Should I Tell My Friend I Like Him?

Hey Mr T,

I love your blog. The advice is always awesome. But I am currently talking to someone but I am in love with my best friend who is also currently talking to someone. I want to tell him how I feel but I don’t want to mess up a great friendship or make things awkward between us. We talk everyday all day. We take trips together. Do things together all the time. I just don’t know what to do because I’m in love with him but vibing with someone else.  What should I do?

Sincerely,

A lost love

Dating, friendship

If He’s Not that into My Friend, Why Can’t I Date Him?

T,

It’s my first time with this so I’m hoping the advice you give will really help me out here.  I’m stuck between trying to be a good friend and trying to pursue my man.  Or at least I want him to be my man. Long story short, friend and I go to bar for happy hour.  While there, we both meet this guy at the same time. My friend and I both find him attractive, but since I’m shy and my friend is not, he winds up making play for the guy and getting his number.  While my friend’s personality is definitely bigger than mine, the guy and I clicked. Yet again, my friend got his number.  When I got home later that same night, the guy sends me a friend request and DM.  From that initial DM, the guy and I exchanged numbers, and have been talking nonstop for about a week and some change.

I recently told this guy, that he can’t try talking to me and talking to my friend at the same time.  He assures me that he hasn’t been talking to my friend like that, but my friend keeps hitting him up.  The guy showed me the text messages and it’s clear that he’s been trying to distance himself from my friend, but my friend is still in pursuit. When I asked my friend if he still talks to the guy from the bar, he says yes. But again, I know the guy is not that into him and I’ve seen it for myself.

My question for you is, what do I do?  I really do like this guy and we really just vibe. On the other hand, I have my friend who I’m not trying to hurt.

From,

The Boy Is Mine

Dating, friendship

I Want the Man My Friend is Dating

T,

I’m in a bit of a situation, and it’s not a good one.  I’ll try to keep this short and to the point. So about 3 months ago, me and my friend went to a house party and I met this guy I’ll call Mark.  Mark and I were really vibing with each other, but at the time I was in a relationship.  Because I was committed to my ex, but thought Mark was a good guy, I introduced him to my friend. Since that night, the two have been talking and went on dates, but aren’t in a relationship.  My friend says he likes Mark, but isn’t sure he wants to be tied down to one person. Heck, he dates Mark and two other people right now.

The dilemma is, Mark and I have been texting since we met.  Our conversations weren’t romantic or anything at first, because again I was boo’d up and I introduced him to my friend. We would talk about sports, shows, and life in general. However, in the back of my mind I still felt drawn to him, and I’m pretty sure the attraction is mutual. Since I’ve broken up with my ex about a month ago, Mark and I have been flirting. Trust me I know it’s bad because Mark is talking to my friend.  Well what’s even worse, is that I’m tired of sneaking behind friend’s back, and I’m tired of not being able to act on my attraction.  I want to be with Mark. With all that said, I’m not sure how to handle this problem. Hopefully, you can help.

From,

Unintentional Triangle

friendship

They Aren’t Your Friend!

As I get older and wiser, I’ve come to realize that my dad taught me one of the most valuable lessons in life.  Even though he wasn’t really around when I was growing up, and we aren’t particularly close, he actually passed on some words of wisdom to me that I haven’t forgotten and stand by daily.  About twelve years ago or so, my dad told me, “you may think you have a lot of friends now, but in life you really only have a few friends, and many associates.”  Now if you swap out “associates” for “acquaintances”, this one quote should stir something in your spirit.  And if doesn’t, perhaps you just haven’t reached a place in life when you’ve been hurt by enough people or seen enough things.  But either way, my father had and has an amazing point.

friendship

How to Tell A Friend Crashing On Your Couch It’s Time to Go!

T,

I noticed you give legit advice, so I guess I’m trying this thing out.  I’m having a roommate situation.  I guess it’s really more of a friend situation.  So for the past two months I’ve been letting a close friend stay with me, and I’m kind of tire of having him around. He relocated to my city because he needed a fresh start, but he hasn’t found a job yet.  Which means he’s been here rent free.  I don’t think I would care so much if he weren’t eating all my food and inviting himself to come with me every time I leave the house.  I have to be comfortable when I come home.  Basically, how do I put my friend out of my house without losing him in my life?

Thanks for whatever advice you give,

Martin Payne92

friendship

What RHOA Really Taught Us about Friendships?

By now, most of the country has been exposed to the web of lies that was season nine of The Real Housewives of Atlanta.  As entertaining, or perhaps just shocking, the battle between Kandi and Phaedra was, or the relationship shift between Porsha and Shamea may have been, I find myself thinking about the underlying notions of friendship.  I’m one of those people that believes there are certain rules to friendship whether people are on good terms, or they fall out.  And all that unfolded on this season seems to break a few of these rules.  So in essence, RHOA this season taught us what not to do when it comes to friendships.

friendship

You Can’t Travel with Everybody! Some Friends Have to Stay at Home.

Dear T,

How do you tell a friend he’s not invited on a trip?  So I have this close friend who I’ve known for over 2 years.  He moved to the area, I met him at my old job, and we just clicked.  Since he started hanging out with me, I naturally started bringing him around my group of friends.  Which was cool at first. My friends seemed to like him and they would even hang with him when I wasn’t available.  Well last summer we all took a trip to Vegas for my other friend’s birthday.  That’s when the “new” friend showed his ass a bit.  He got drunk nearly every night and was super belligerent and very sloppy.  I mean he literally got so bad one night he got us into a fight on the Vegas strip with some other guys over nothing. We almost got arrested.  He also kept trying to kiss my one friend in the mouth, and needless to say my friend was not interested. Eventually the new friend apologized to all of us and we forgave him, but my old friends stopped hanging around him as much.

Long story short, my group of friends and I have been planning a trip to Punta Cana for my 25th birthday, and all my friend are on board to go.  However, through texts I found out that my original group of friends don’t want my newer friend to go on the trip.  They’ve even said they’ll consider not going on trip if this guy is going. I understand their concern, but now I don’t know what to do.  He already knows about the trip. Hoping you can help.  Sorry if this is a little long winded.

From,

Frankie no Neffe,