Dating

After Two Years I Want Him to Be My Man

T,

I have been seeing this guy for 2 years. We met on a dating app and at the beginning we were both looking for casual dating. He is 40 yrs old has never been married, has no kids, and travels for work. He said he wasn’t looking for anything serious because he travels for work he can’t give me that commitment of a real relationship. I am 35 yrs old and I have an 8 yr old daughter. Casual dating was perfect at first because of my schedule, I had my daughter in almost daily activities and figured we can occasionally hang out. Fast forward to now, my feelings are really strong for him. Like this is the man I want to marry and I want more than just hanging out. Part of me wants to continue what we have because our times together are amazing and I am hopeful that with time he will want more. My past relationships I have always rushed things and this is why I am just going with the flow of things, let life take its course. But at the same time I can’t help to think that this may never be more than what it is. I do like what we have but now I want more. Should I continue what we have until I’m fed up or just call it quits?

-Cheri

Dating

Because of the Coronavirus I Found Out My Boyfriend is Married

T,

Let me tell you what I’ve been going through lately. I’ve been dating this guy for 6 months. We met at the gym, and he actually approached me. I wasn’t really checking for a relationship or anything, so the fact that I let this guy sweep me up is surprising. So after some good dates and even better sex, we became official, but then the Corona hit. As soon as all the quarantine stuff started happening, I’ve seen him 2 times in a month. The phone calls weren’t as frequent either. Once he started pulling back, I thought maybe he was super cautious about catching corona, but then my gut was telling me something was up.

I did a little digging on Facebook, which I hadn’t done before, and found out my so-called boyfriend is married with a young kid. I was crushed. A week ago I sent him a text to call me, and when we spoke on the phone he went into this story that he is married, but him and his wife have an understanding that they can do whatever. They are only together for their son, and can do whatever with whoever outside the house. Because of everything that’s been going on, he has to spend more time at home. He said the only reason he didn’t tell me everything up front was because most people don’t understand his arrangement, and really likes me and didn’t want me to cancel him. However, what am I supposed to do with that? He’s not planning on divorcing his wife until his kid is grown, but wants to date me in the meantime. Can’t wait to hear your thoughts.

– Quarantined and Hate It

Dating

It’s Been Three Months and You Haven’t Met… He May Be a Catfish

Hey T,

I am in sort of a weird spot right now. Late December, I downloaded bumble for fun and got way more than I was looking for. I matched with this guy and we have been talking for three months now but have never met in person. We live in the same town where I am a full-time student and he has a 9-5 job so schedules are busy but not busy enough to justify not making time.

I have asked him to meet up a couple times and he has backed out. However, he has asked me to meet up more times but it’s only ever when he knows I already have plans. He has expressed that he really wants to meet me but “just has a very busy schedule”. I’m not sure what to make of the whole situation because I obviously want to meet him to decide how I feel about him and go from there. I enjoy talking to him but I’m not sure what to do. I feel like after three months of talking daily, I want to meet him and would have a hard time just cutting it off. I’m not sure how much I believe he wants to meet me if he hasn’t really tried or if he’s just bored and is trying to fill his time talking to me/other girls. Let me know what you think!

– Confused Pen Pal

Dating

I Thought Things Were Going Great and then He Ghosted Me

Hi T,

So I’ve been on Bumble for a while and nothing good has come from it. However, I recently met this guy and we really hit it off. We were texting every day and snap chatting every once in a while, even though he’s not a big phone guy which I believe to be true. We went on 3 dates in one week and it seemed like he was really interested in me. It seemed like we were looking for the same things and both enjoyed spending time together. I really liked him and it didn’t seem like there were any red flags or that he wasn’t into me. Recently, he stopped responding to me and I have no idea what went wrong. Most times when I go on dates with guys, I don’t feel we’re a good match. However, the few times I go on a date with someone that I’m very interested in, they’re not interested in me and proceed to ghost me.

I’m not sure if I should reach out to him and ask what happened so I can get closure or if I just keep throwing up my hands and accepting getting ghosted. I’m growing really tired of having a tough dating experience and just want some honest answers.

Thank you for your help!

-Mysteriously Ghosted

Dating, relationships

I Landed My Gym Crush, and Now I’m a Little Disappointed

T,

What do you do when you finally land your crush and it’s not what you thought it would be? Getting straight to the point, before this whole corona thing popped off, I had a crush on this guy who I’m now dating. For about three months, I would see him at the gym when I went and would find myself so damn thirsty. He has body. So towards the end of January, I finally listened to my friends and spoke with him. And from then on, I got to know more about him and found he was cool. We’ve been dating, have some amazing sex, but there’s an issue with our conversations. I feel like our conversations aren’t great.

We talk about working out, sports, and Marvel movies a lot. Initially that was cool, but when I want to talk politics, or Bravo shows, or cultural issues, or other types of movies, our conversations are a little blah. And maybe because all this quarantining has us spending more and more time together, but I’m a little bothered by our limited talks. Not sure if I’m making a big deal out of nothing or if I was a bit shallow in trying to date him. Not sure if there is a question in there, but I’m sure you can find it.

From,
Blinded by the Muscles

Dating

He’s a Great Guy, but There’s NO Physical Attraction

Hey T,

I started dating this guy about 2 and half months ago and he’s great. He’s always concerned about making me feel special, plans great dates, and treats me like a king. There’s just one thing that I’m concerned about that bothers me. I don’t think I’m as physically attracted to him as I should be. Two of my friends told me that I should ride it out with this guy, because physical attraction can develop, and it’s not every day you come across a good guy (btw, they think he’s good looking, he’s just not my usual type). I want to stick it out with him, but not sure I’m doing him or me any favors. What do you think?

– 312

Dating, friendship

My Boyfriend and His Ex Are Friends and I’m Bothered

Hi T,

I read some of your posts and thought you could help me like you helped those other people. My boyfriend is constantly hanging around his ex and it bothers me. They aren’t hanging out one on one or anything, but they share a mutual group of friends, and so when he tells me he’s going out with his friends, the ex is usually there. I think I’d be cool with all of this, but I’ve recently seen how my boyfriend and his ex interact, and it was weird. I was around their group of friends, but it was those two that made me feel like I was on the outside. I  think they’re vibe is starting to seem like it’s more than friends. How do I tell my boyfriend to stop hanging out with his ex without sounding jealous.

-Mr. Been Over It

Dating, relationships

I Really Like this Guy, but He Ghosted Me More than Once

Dear T,

What does it mean when a guy tells you he likes you and wants to build something with you, but he then goes ghost.  He’s ghosted me more than once. Long story short, this guy who I’ve been dating for about 3 months is so up and down. One week we’re talking every day with texts and calls, and the next week he may text me 4 times over 7 days. When I asked him what the deal was, he said work gets stressful sometimes, but he doesn’t mean to offend. Said he is working toward a relationship with me, but his disappearing act pisses me off.  But he has time to like Ig photos, not that I’m stalking him. What should I do here?

-Drizzy95

Dating, relationships

My Fiance only Told Me about Two of the Three Children

Hi,

I’m having a major issue with my fiancé.  We have been together for about a year and a half.  We got engaged and bought a house together. At the beginning, when we started dating, I asked him if he had kids. To which he said yes 2 girls. After some months of dating, I got to meet them. They are wonderful girls and I love them like my own. Everything has been going great until yesterday.

As we sat to have dinner, he exposed his secret and lie all at once. He told me he had a son as well. He said he has no contact with him but he paid all of his child support till he turned 21 last year.  Well I got so upset with him about this because I feel that he betrayed my trust by not telling me about him from day one when I asked him if he had kids. And he knew about him from the time his ex was pregnant with him, so it’s not like he just found out. This lie/secret is really taking a toll on me.

Now I’m wondering what else he is hiding.  I don’t think I can ever trust him again. That was something he should have told me before we got engaged and moved in together. We have even been trying to conceive to have a little one of our own but now it’s like I don’t even know him. I, of course, flipped out on him for not telling me to the point we were down each other throats about it, especially when he found it funny that I was mad at him for this and he laughed in my face.

He doesn’t care how this has affected me. I don’t care that he has more kids. I wouldn’t care before either. It’s the fact that he lied about it and kept it a secret from me. Well our argument got so bad he broke up with me. I am lost for words and don’t know what do think. Why did he do that? Why tell me about the 2 daughters but not about his son? I just don’t get it. And then at the end break up with me because I got angry about it. Like seriously, he messed up and punished me for his mistake by breaking up with me.

-KayKay

Dating, relationships

I Love Him but Our Sex Life Is Going to Become an Issue

Hi T,

I need some advice. I’m in a fairly new relationship with this guy who I honestly do love, a lot. But I’m nervous about our sex life going forward. See I’m a top that doesn’t mind playing the other role in a committed relationship. The problem is, not only does my boyfriend not really enjoy the experience of bottoming, I don’t think he can satisfy me as a top.

It’s hard for me to be thrilled about actual sex knowing he doesn’t like bottoming, and it’s visible when we’re in the act. Our sex life isn’t a huge problem now, but I’m nervous it will be.

Thoughts?

Wanting to Be Pleased