I’m new to this whole gay thing, and kind of confused. I’ve been doing research, so I know the difference between a top and bottom, but not sure how to tell one from the other. My instinct tells me if a guy acts like a guy and likes guy things, then he’s a top. And if a guy acts like a girl and likes girly things, he’s a bottom. However, the more dates I go on, and the more I’m around gays, the more I realize my instinct is wrong. Can you tell me how you can tell the difference?
Would you stay with someone if they cheated on you? I’ve been with this man for 2 years, and last week he told me while he was at this house party with his boys, he let some little young THOT suck his peen. When I asked him how could he do that, he copped out and blamed it on the liquor and peer pressure. No lie, a grown ass man gave me the peer pressure excuse. However, I will say he seemed genuinely sorry and reassured me he would never do this to me again. I told my friends what happened, and they all told me to dump him. I just don’t know if I want to do that, because I still really love him. So please, hook me up with some advice.
Thanks a bunch,
I have this best friend and we’ve just not been clicking lately. I’ve been with my current boyfriend for about 8 months, and ever since then my best friend has been distant. We don’t talk as often, and I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve seen him lately. And before you think it, I’m not one of those people that get lost in a relationship and completely forget about his friends. My other friendships are just fine. I talk to my other friends nearly all the time. I thought maybe my best friend had some issue with my boyfriend, but my bff claims to like him. Plus, my boyfriend is the nicest guy and gets along with everyone. What do you think the problem is? What should I do to get my friend back?
I’ve been seeing this man for about 3 months now. He’s everything I’ve wanted. He’s cute, has banging body, has a great job, makes me laugh, and the sex with him on a scale from 1 to 10 is an 11. The only thing is, the guy is married and has no plans in the near future to get a divorce from his wife. He told me he didn’t want to get a divorce right now because he didn’t want to do that to his two young kids. However, he always makes himself available to me. We don’t really go on dates around town, but he comes over to my place often and takes me on trips. Lately though, I’ve just been feeling our relationship the way it is, isn’t enough. I want more. I want to go out in public on dates. I want to be able take pictures with my boyfriend. I want to roll over in the middle of the night to him sleeping peacefully, instead of him making a mad dash for the exit to get home. Plus, I’m starting to feel bad for his wife. I guess I’m writing to ask what do you think I should do? I’ve asked my friends, but I don’t think they get it.
I’ll just get right to the point. I’m 25 years old, a black man, and gay. The problem is, I haven’t “come out” to my family yet. My mom and dad are very old school Christian, and my two older brothers are kind of homophobic. I’m afraid that if I tell them I’m gay, they won’t talk to me anymore. On the other hand, I’m tired of living this secret double life. I know people say I have to live my truth, but I don’t want to lose my family while doing it. They mean everything to me. What do you think I should do?
Thanks in advance,
Still in the Closet
I don’t know what it is, but I can’t find a man. I haven’t been in a relationship going on 4 years now. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been on dates since my last relationship. But the guys I’ve gone on dates with wound up being a quick fling, or a complete waste of time. And I’ve tried meeting guys everywhere. I’ve tried bars, clubs, house parties, and even created profiles on stuff like Grindr, A4A, and Jack’d. I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong, but do you think you could give me some tips on how to land a boo?
I’m Fine Alone, But Damn
So I really like this guy that I’ve been dating for the past month. We have amazing times together, can talk on the phone for hours, and have a ton in common. Plus, he has a great job and is fine as sh$t. Surprisingly, we haven’t had sex yet. Which leads me to my problem. He’s a top and he’s under the impression I’m a bottom, or at least verse. I’ve only bottomed once, and I hated it. Like I said, I’m really feeling this guy and I’m afraid if he finds out I’m a top too, he’ll drop me. What do you think I should do?
Thanks in advance,
Hole But No Entry
Over the years my boyfriend has really gotten out of shape. I don’t understand how someone could let themselves go like this. When we first met he was ripped and chiseled. Now he’s sporting a beer gut. I’m no longer attracted to him but I don’t want to break his heart. What should I do?
No Fats No Fems
I have this female best friend, and over the past three months she has developed a huge crush on this guy we know. He’s fine, a recent college grad, and charming. I think he’s a good catch, but I’m pretty sure he’s gay.
Shortly after meeting this guy, my best friend and I became Facebook friends with him. Since then, he’s been messaging me directly pretty regularly. We talk about our life goals, our experiences in college, sports, and other things. While that sounds normal, when we have our Facebook chats it’s usually after 11:00pm. Also, he uses smiley wink faces in our conversations. And looking at his Facebook profile, I learned he loves Oprah and Rhianna, and we have multiple friends in common that I know for sure are gay. So I guess my question here, is do I tell my best friend this guy is gay so she can move on? Or do I keep the information to myself?
Trying This Out
Dear According to T,
I’m on Round 2 with this guy. We dated a few years ago, but are exploring things again. Last time, he bailed. This time, I want to. Not to “get him back”, but because I feel he is too emotionally stretched to fully engage…especially sexually. I am wrong for wanting to call it quits?