Dating, friendship

I Like Older Men and My Friends Constantly Clown Me for It

like older men

Tavion,

I’m sick of my so-called friends getting on my case about who I date. They’re always cracking jokes about the fact most of the men I date are older than me. See I’m 23, but most of the guys I mess with or whatever are at least 40. They don’t get the attraction, but guys my age have that immature mentality, and I don’t have time. I’ve told my friends my reasoning several times, but they won’t ease up. The jokes didn’t bother me that much before, but now I’m sick of them saying sh&t like I like raisin balls. It’s petty and stupid. How would you get them to stop? What would you do if you were me?

-I Like Real Daddies

Dear I Like Real Daddies,

Thank you for writing to me. I’m going to jump right into this letter because my advice is going to be kind of brief.

Look, the great thing about being an adult is you get to make your own choices. For better, and sometimes for worse, you get to make your own decisions regardless of what anyone says. And as a part of your decision-making, you have the choice of dating whoever your heart desires.  If you prefer dating guys that are older, well then, that’s your right. Heck, there was a time in my life when I preferred the “more mature” gentleman myself.

As far as your friends go, if what they say is really bothering you, then you need to tell them that the jokes are stale and make you feel a way. If they’re your friends, they should respect that and learn to do better. Now, what should you do if that doesn’t work?

Well, if the direct approach doesn’t work, stop talking with your friends about the guys you’re seeing. When they ask you about your love life, keep your answers dry and generic. Should the time come when you find yourself in a relationship, then try being a little more open with them. But to be honest with you, this isn’t the best option because the best friendships are those where people can talk about anything.

Suggestions going forward

  1. Again, be direct with your friends, because there’s nothing wrong with wanting to date older. Heck, there are a lot of men over forty who are fine for no reason and have all the juice.

As always nothing but love,

Tavion

(IG: accordingtot, Twitter: _accordingtot_ )

By the way, make sure you check out Season 2 of Majoring in Me the Podcast. Tristan is still Black. Still gay. And adulting is still kicking his ass.

 

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