Dating

He’s Flirting with Me on Social Media, But Does He Like Me?

social media flirting

Hi Tavion,

How do you know if someone really is feeling you or not? I’ve been flirting with this guy on Twitter for about 2 months now, and that flirting hasn’t gone anywhere. I mean we haven’t exchanged numbers and haven’t gone on a date. Nothing. But he’s always liking my posts, and he always responding to my DMs. I want to ask him what’s up, but I don’t want to put myself out there like that. So knowing that, how do I figure out if he likes me?

-Twitter Fingers

Dear Twitter Fingers,

Thanks for writing to me. Over the years, I’ve come to understand more about the role social media plays in dating. I’ve learned that apps like Twitter and Instagram have given people the ability to really expand their potential dating pool. They friend folks on these platforms and realize that there are more available men or women in their area, and get to see if they’re compatible with these folks right away based on what they post, like, retweet, and share. In some ways, social media can operate better than your Hinge and Tinder-like apps.

Also, I’ve grown to notice that there is such a thing as “social media flirting.” Let me explain. There are occasions when folks may flirt with others on social media, but really have no intention of having that flirting lead anywhere. So they may like posts, leave comments, and hop in the DMs with some short messages, but they don’t anticipate taking things any further than that.

You may be asking why would someone ever do this? Well, there are a few possible reasons. One popular reason is that people are bored yet find the other person attractive (although, sometimes attraction may not even be a factor, it’s just boredom).  Another possible explanation is that sometimes individuals just like to flirt for the sake of flirting. It’s a part of their personality.

Now as far as if this guy likes you, I can’t say for sure based on what you told me. However, the fact that he likes all your Tweets is a good thing. But the best way to determine if he has some purposeful feelings for you is to shoot your shot. Respectfully send him a message that indicates your clear interest. If he doesn’t feel the same way, that’s fine. Despite what society makes you think, rejection is not such a bad thing. Think of it this way, a man telling you he’s not interested means you don’t have to waste your time, effort, or attention on a situation that was never meant to be.

Suggestions going forward

  1. I didn’t address it above, but it’s worth noting that you said he replies to your DM whenever you message him. If you’re the one always initiating the conversations, I would encourage you to raise an eyebrow. In fact, if you’re still nervous about shooting your shot, I recommend you don’t send him a DM for a while and see if he initiates a conversation. If you notice he doesn’t reach out to you first, that may be a sign he’s not as interested in you like you hope.

As always nothing but love,

Tavion

(IG: accordingtot, Twitter: _accordingtot_ )

By the way, make sure you check out Season 2 of Majoring in Me the Podcast. Tristan is still Black. Still gay. And adulting is still kicking his ass.

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