The Lifestyle

Being In a Long-Distance Relationship on Two Different Continents

long-distance

Hey T

So I just recently moved away to a whole other continent and I have Left behind my beloved Boyfriend, we’ve been dating for a while and we’re still dating of course. We both get busy but we ALWAYS make time for each other, it’s very important to do that in a Long-distance relationship.

Like I said I’ve moved to another continent and I’m gonna be living here for 3 years or so, and my Boyfriend and I were so used to being with each other and Getting intimate all the time. We love having Sex. A lot of sex. That’s the way we are, but since I’m gonna be away for so long I’m worried that he’s gonna have sex with somebody else, and I don’t want that because I’d never move past it, I’d never forgive.  It would make me so insecure even imagining it breaks my heart, burns my chest, and blurs my eyes with tears.

We’ve talked about this multiple times, I’ve told him I’ll wait for him, I even promised because I love him but I’m scared and worried that he won’t because he’s a guy, but all he tells me is that he Loves me very much and only wants me, I don’t understand why he can’t just promise. Him not promising me gets into my head and makes me overthink and anxious.

-Hannah

Dear Hannah,

Thanks for writing to me. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, long-distance relationships aren’t for everyone. These types of relationships take a lot of patience, trust, and commitment. To be clear, those that don’t feel equipped to dedicate any one of these things are not bad people. It just means they know their limits. And there are some instances, when individuals agree to enter a long-distance relationship, not knowing what it takes and not knowing they don’t possess what it requires.

In your relationship, you and your boyfriend just added an element of distance, and you already appear to be letting your trust in your bae slip away. He’s given you absolutely no reason not to trust him so far, and you’ve allowed the thoughts of “possibilities” and stereotypes of men to distract you from what’s real in front of you. Not all men are completely sex crazed, and not all men cheat. Even if a man has a healthy appetite for sex, and is used to getting it all the time right now, it doesn’t mean when his partner is out of town he’ll be ready to fulfill his appetite with someone else. There are men willing to go on a “diet.”

With all of that said, I’m going to keep it real with you. Three years is a long time to be in a long-distance relationship with someone on a different continent. While I said it takes patience, trust, and commitment to be in this type of relationship, it all takes a bit of coin. In the case of you and your boyfriend, it will take a very healthy coin. I’m not checking you or your man’s pockets, but I imagine it will be quite expensive to visit one another on two different continents regularly. Unless you two have the finances to maintain a healthy relationship, you’ll want to consider that going forward.

Suggestions going forward.

  1. I know I threw a lot at you and you may be wondering what it is exactly I’m telling you to do, but at the end of the day, what you do is your decision. What I can tell you is that you and your boyfriend should consider what three years look like. If you two love each other, but also possess the three things I mentioned earlier along with the finances, then you two have to lock into those things and fight for your relationship. However, if you two don’t have those things, then again, think about the next three years.
  2. If you two decide to make your relationship work, beat back your insecurities. Also, you and your boyfriend should come to an understanding of what a long-distance relationship for you two actually looks like.

As always nothing but love,

Tavion Scott

(IG: accordingtot)

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