Dating, friendship

Should I Tell My Friend to Break Up with Her Boyfriend

Hey, if you don’t mind keeping this anonymous.

So today my best friend was getting hit with a rubber band which ofc was leaving markings and everything. She was getting hit with the rubber band by a kid that she talks to but they aren’t really “friends.” Let’s call him “Jose.” Okay anyways she was telling Jose to stop hitting her and he wouldn’t, then this kid that has a crush on my friend said to stop and tried to make him stop but Jose still didn’t. (Note I wasn’t in her class) but so here’s the problem, my friend’s boyfriend was sitting in the table behind her while this was all happening and not doing a thing about it but he knew it was happening. Also that for the past two weeks they haven’t had an actual conversation. Besides all of this, my friend wants to know what I would say to him if I were going to. I just don’t know how to write it.

-R

Dear R,

Thanks for writing to me. Allow me to apologize for the delayed response. Work has been a little hectic and I had to take a mental break. However, I’m back now and ready to assist you. So I’ll just get right down to it.

I’ve always said you can’t ever tell people when they’ve had enough. In general, people won’t stop doing something or quit someone until they’ve reached their breaking point. I say that to say this. Even if you tell your friend that she should dump her boyfriend, she won’t actually do it until she’s had enough of the way he’s treating her. So while it sounds to me as if you want your friend to leave her boo and possibly start dating this other guy who has a crush, your friend won’t do it until she’s ready.

I get none of this may actually help you in terms of what words to say to your friend, so allow me to recommend you say a variation of the following:

“I think you’re a great person, and you deserve to be with someone that knows that and is willing to protect your worth. Now who that person may be, I can’t tell you. But I do believe in your heart of hearts, you know. I’m just here to support you.”

Now if you want to throw something in there about the guy who has a crush on her in an attempt to slightly nudge her in his direction, you can do so. But just remember, it’s her decision.

Suggestions going forward.

  1. It sounds like you and your friend are pretty young. Please don’t let the drama of boys distract you from your journey of self. Trust me as I tell you, as you get older, you are going to want to have a healthy sense of self as the dating game gets more adult and more complicated.

As always nothing but love,

Tavion Scott

(IG: accordingtot)

 

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