Dating

My Friends Say I’m Picky, But I Can’t Deal with this Guy’s Feet

Dear T,

Full disclosure, my friends have told me I’m picky when it comes to dating. If knowing what you do and don’t want is picky, then by all means call me picky. I just don’t think there is anything wrong with having standards. However, I told myself in 2019 I would keep my friends’ words in mind. Having said all of that let me get to the reason I’m writing you.

I’ve been seeing this guy I like for about a month now. I mean I really do like him. He checks off all the boxes on my checklist, and he’s got me completely pressed. Or he did before I recently saw his feet. The other night we were intimate and he finally took his socks off and I was horrified. I mean I’ve seen some bad feet, but his toes alone look like someone has been gnawing at them. Then when the bottom of his feet managed to touch my leg, I swore he cut me.

As much as I like this guy, I don’t think I can be with someone with bad feet. Not that I make a habit of putting toes in my mouth, but if I was in the right mood I wouldn’t even be able to remove his socks. I’m doing my best not to be picky in this situation, but damn. His feet are gross.

What are your thoughts?

-I Can’t Do His Feet

Dear I Can’t Do His Feet,

Thanks for writing to me. I have to say, your letter actually made me laugh a bit. Not necessarily your experience, but your description of this man’s feet. You painted an image that reminds me of an episode of the sitcom Martin.

Anyway, as far as my advice on what to do in this situation, I’m going to caution you against kicking this guy to the curb. You admittedly said you really like him. And based on what you said (and didn’t say), I assume that this man’s feet are the only thing really bothering you about him. At the risk of sounding like your friends, don’t be too picky.

Look, it’s fine to have standards. I believe everyone should have them. But I’ve seen in many cases that people will have these “unrealistic” standards when it comes to dating, and set themselves up for romantic failure.

Just remember two things when it comes to your dating must-haves. First, there’s no such thing as perfection when it comes to looking for a partner. People are naturally flawed. Second, it’s not fair to hold someone to standards you yourself can’t meet (or haven’t tried to meet).

Suggestions going forward.

  1. If you don’t want to call this man out about his feet but want them repaired, take this man on a date to the nail salon for a pedicure. If you think you may be embarrassed getting a couple’s pedicure with him, go to a salon you’ve never been to.

 

  1. Don’t sweat the small stuff. If you find this guy sexy from the ankles up, he stimulates your mind, and treats you well, the repulsive feet in this instance is considered small stuff.

As always nothing but love,

Tavion Scott

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