I’m having this issue with my boyfriend lately. After about a year hiatus from Instagram, I decided to hop back on it. At first, my boyfriend wasn’t even tripping. But now because I’ve gotten more followers, and this one account that features “sexy thick men” or whatever posted my picture, I’ve gotten a lot of likes and flirtatious comments underneath my pictures. Plus, I received some DMs. Keep in mind, I’ve never responded to the DMs and I don’t do anything more than like the comments. I rarely reply, and if I do it’s nothing more than thanks or thank you. However, my boyfriend has been acting real jealous and a little bitchy like I’ve done something wrong, like I’ve cheated. I haven’t cheated and I haven’t done anything wrong. I’m sick of feeling like I’m constantly being punished for nothing. Heck, he’s had an Instagram for a minute and I ain’t tripping. How would you handle this situation? By the way, love the work you’re doing. Keep it up.
-Back on IG
Dear Back on IG,
Thanks for writing to me, and thanks for the compliment about my site. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the compliments serve as fuel for what I’m doing here. So again, I appreciate you sending the positive vibes and props my way. Now with pleasantries out the way, let’s get to the issues you’re having in your relationship.
For starters, your man is acting jealous probably because he is jealous. You went from being relatively unknown on social media to becoming somewhat “insta-famous.” Apparently, your “milkshake brings all the boys to the yard” and has got folks doing drive-by likes of your IG posts, pouring on compliments, and filling up your inbox. And while I’m sure that feels super flattering and boosts your self-esteem, your boyfriend has grown aggravated because he now sees actual people wanting a piece of the gem he’s got. For some people, that’s a bit threatening.
Thinking from your boyfriend’s perspective for a minute, nobody wants to have to constantly fight off thots. That sounds like an exhausting task and a miserable experience. You may have done nothing but post a picture of you cheesing, but if that picture is getting an abundance of likes and causing people to bombard you with DMs, then all he knows is you put out thot bait. While you two may be “good” in your relationship now, he fears the right guy with the right body and the right swag will come along and lead you down the cheating path.
To be clear, I’m not saying your boyfriend’s jealousy is justified. I’m simply trying to present his side of things. I believe as long as you’ve been respectful of your relationship in your interactions with your “fan club”, your boyfriend should trust you. After all, I assume you trust him in his interactions on various social media platforms.
Suggestions going forward.
- You need to sit your bae down and have a face-to-face conversation with him about how you feel he’s been acting. Reassure him that you are happy with him and just him. Also, remind him that you trust him on Instagram, and he should return that trust.
- If his insecurities about the attention you’re getting stim from a past relationship where there was infidelity, reemphasize to him that you aren’t his ex.
- To help appease your boyfriend a little, just be aware of the pics you post. In other words, you may not want to post any nudes no matter how artistic you think they are.
As always nothing but love,