Dating, relationships

More than Dating, Less than a Relationship, It’s a “Situationship”

For those familiar with my content, you know that I regularly use the term situationship. I haven’t really broken down the definition of the term, so I decided to take a little time out to do so. By the end of this post, you should have a strong grasp on this word not yet in the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, and perhaps not used in your everyday vocabulary.

What Is It?

When I mention the word situationship, I’m describing that often awkward stage when two people have been seeing each other for a while, but aren’t necessarily in the confines of a relationship. Those in such arrangement haven’t had the relationship conversation, or they have agreed they aren’t ready for a traditional relationship.  While the two individuals are certainly more than acquaintances, they aren’t exclusively committed to each other.


Are there Rules?

As I laid out in the definition, there is no specified level of commitment in a situationship. Both parties in a situationship are free to continue swiping left and right, meeting up with other people, and hitting the sheets with a hookup without the guilt of cheating on a partner.  With that said, you may be asking how can there possibly be rules then Well at the risk of sound ironic, let me reassure you there are rules.

Family and Friends Are Off Limits

Folks in a situationship may be free to see other people, but known family and friends are off limits. It’s indecent to pursue a person you know is connected to your situationship partner, just because you’re not in a relationship. There are people such as myself that don’t even want anyone I was simply talking to or went on two dates with, to start hooking up my friends and families. It’s all about respect.

You Can’t Confuse It for a Relationship

This bears repeating, a situationship is NOT a relationship. Individuals in the former shouldn’t assume just because they are hanging out with each other, and perhaps having sex, that they are a power couple.  I’ve said it time and time again, never assume you’re in a relationship without having the conversation with your intended partner. It’s a recipe for disaster. If you’re a person that wants the expectations of a relationship with the current person you are talking to, then have a conversation about commitment.


What Are Some Examples?

Surprisingly, this is more of a difficult question to answer, simply because I try not to be in everyone’s personal business. And given I’m not an employee of TMZ, name dropping celebrity couplings (although a few come to mind) would be a bit irresponsible simply because I don’t know their business outside of the blogs. So to be on the safe side, let me use fictionalized depictions of situationships.

Let’s talk about one of my favorite shows Insecure.  For all intent and purposes, Molly and Dro are in the midst of situationship. The two like each other, have mutual boundaries they try not to cross, but are not in a relationship. While the reason they aren’t in a relationship is due to his marriage, they are in a situationship nonetheless.


Another fictionalized situationship that was on television, was the thing between Olivia Pope and Jake in Scandal. Olivia and Jake never really had a relationship. Yes they were having sex, and yes people knew they were romantically involved. But if my memory serves me correctly, not once did Olivia or Jake have a discussion about being in a committed relationship, nor was there an expectation of commitment. Truth be told, it was improbable they could ever have a relationship because of her thing for Fitz. Speaking of Fitz, Liv technically violated one of the two rules of a situationship, but Jake certainly didn’t make a play for Abby or Quinn.


Are You in One?

I can’t answer that, but you sure can. What I will say, is if you are dating or talking to someone, but haven’t had “The Talk”, then you might be.

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