Greetings all. It’s Euphonious K.Z.G. again. This will probably be one of the most intimate and straight from the heart pieces I’ve written to you all thus far. I’ve always come to you all standing in my truths and that is what I’ll continue to do. 2018 came in very hard on me, challenging me and trying to break me in almost every way possible and now it’s February. I have absolutely been hurled right out of the frying pan and into the fire.
As I stated in my last piece, the year started out with me damaging a friendship, which is still in repair at this moment in time. The next burn was my father being hospitalized, going through a diabetes related amputation. That was a bit weird, given I had dreamed about this very situation happening a couple of weeks prior, and told my father I needed him to take care of himself.
I also had been struggling trying to balance my finances and get them in order. Due to the nature of my profession, I’m an independent contractor. While I may love some of the freedoms and perks of being an independent contractor, I’m not as excited about the lump sum of taxes I owe each year, the health care I have to buy purchase out of pocket, or the fact that paid vacation don’t exist for me. No work, no coins.
Then to top it off, as of January 31st, 2018 I find myself jobless. Oh and for the kicker, I received a call from the financial aid department from my musical institute telling me that I’m close to reaching my aid cap, and may have to end up coming out of pocket to attend. How am I supposed to do that? 8 years wasted pursuing a bachelors in a field that is not where the creator has destined me to be. Now I’m feeling behind and unable to catch up. It’s like if I’m practically drowning as I try to escape this bottomless dark pit somewhere in the ocean. Who wouldn’t feel like a f$ck up or a failure right now?
Here’s where I flip the L into a lesson. There is something about fighting to keep a job or anything else that God, the Ancestors, the Universe, and the Earth keep trying to tell you IS NOT FOR YOU! When you meet the higher power with opposition, they will show you at every turn and even take that thing away from you by force if necessary. I faced a decrease in billable hours due to changing needs of clients and their parents, as well as lacked pieces of life security a regular job provides. This pushed me into places to make irrational and wrong decisions. Decisions based solely on trying to survive in a terrible economy for us millennials where we have to work 10x harder only to receive less than what we deserve. (So many of us are out here struggling to try and make our lives better.)
But do you wanna know something? This is the true test of a person. This is where my spiritual growth shines the most. Although I am elevating spiritually, I have never claimed to be perfect or without mistakes, nor better than anyone. Those elitist thoughts have no place in the journey of reaching your higher self. It is something about the peace in these moments! The moments you can look at these situations and find beauty, find the lessons, and see what it is that the higher powers are trying to tell you.
Let me tell you something, I had been feeling a bit heavy and questioning where am I going in life? How do I get there? Where should my focus be at this point in my life? Am I doing the things I need to do for myself and in my life in order to elevate? I had been on my knees praying extra hard every morning. Guess what!? These last few days God has been like “Watch me give you all your answers, whether you like some of the ways you’re going to receive them or not!”
When you ask for answers from the higher powers, you can’t be mad or scared or run from it when they give them to you. They are calling you to action to see what are you going to do!? Are you going to trust them and the journey or not? I can see what it is they are saying. I have struggled to keep every job I’ve ever had longer than a year and it is because I am meant for GREATER. You keep ignoring your calling if you want, you will meet disaster at every turn.
There are two things I’ve heard lately that have resonated with me. 1.) Separate your wants from your needs. 2.) Ajna said, “We gone take these L’s and turn them into lessons because lessons are your stairs to get to your next level.” I am fully aware there may be people who are going to try to use this against me and gossip about me. That’s perfectly fine, everyone should do what fulfills them.. I’m here to tell you I’m a learner and a fighter. My baby, trouble don’t last always.
To everyone and anyone out there who is or has been in a similar position of life like where I’m at, you aren’t alone. Everything happens for a reason whether you see it or understand it right away or not. So as I sit here typing these words with tears hitting my keyboard, I remember the sun shined on me today and I’m smiling. I’m grateful.
Peace, Light, Love, and Blessings
– Euphonious K.Z.G.