Preparing to go into the New Year, I decided to give those single and looking some dating tips to help them in their search in 2018. This is a DO NOT list, so if you find yourself doing any of these things in 2017, switch it up going forward. Heck, what do you have to lose? Especially, if doing it your way hasn’t produced the results you want.
- Go to the Movies
Unless you’re going to dinner and a movie, a movie date by itself is not a great idea. A first date is your opportunity to get to know a person. To figure out if you want to go on a second and third date. How can you possibly get to know someone in a theater? A place where talking is frowned upon. Communication is a key component to getting to know a person. When people go to a movie to meet for the first time, more than likely they’ll have a better understanding of whatever film they saw than of each other.
- Go Out with No Money
This point essentially speaks to the question, “Who should pick up the tab?” Now I’m a firm believer that the person that extends the invitation for a date should expect to pay for the whole date. That’s regardless of genders and sexual positions. With that said, I also believe that the person invited on the date should go with money, willing and ready to pay for his own portion of the date. Now the invitee doesn’t have to pay, but it sends a great sign if he at least offers. Besides, you don’t know if the guy that asks you out actually agrees with me on who should pick up the tab. So why not be prepared just in case.
- Keep Loved Ones Completely in the Dark
Now I don’t think family and friends should accompany you on a date or be all in your personal business, but I do think at least one person should know you are going on a date, and where you plan on going. Heck in some cases, I used to send a photo of who I was going out with to my best friend. In these times, folks are crazy. I’ve watched enough I.D. Discovery to understand that. You never know who you may be meeting these days. Call it me being overly cautious, but you’ve got one life to live. Why not be careful with it? So tell a trusted person in your inner circle about the date, because God forbid something happen, at least one person will have a lead to get the suspect.
- Talk All about Yourself
As much as a first date is an opportunity for a guy to get to know you, it’s also a chance for you to get to know him. You can’t be a Chatty Cathy the whole time. You have to use your ears as much as your mouth. Besides, no one wants to hear you give a two hour speech about yourself. Essentially that’s what that would be. Unless you let the guy talk, and talk about himself, you are allowing him to be an audience of one instead of a co-star. So if you’re used to yammering on and on while on a date, learn to zip it.
- Go without Checking Your Hygiene
There is nothing worse than going on a first date with someone who lacks the good sense to have good hygiene. It is the ultimate turn-off. To be completely honest, bringing up this point is making me a little sick to my stomach; but, I know I have to talk about it. Look, if you know you are going on a date, think of it like a job interview. You’ve got one time to make a good first impression. That means, don’t show up on the date without a minty fresh mouth, a washed face and body, and deodorant under your arms. No one wants to smell breath that reeks of three day old hotdog water or a body that reminds you of the city dump. Again, make sure your hygiene is top notch.
- Make Introductions with Your Family
Sorry, but no one wants to meet your family on the first date. A guy is usually already nervous about meeting you. Don’t add the pressure of meeting Big Mama, Uncle Eddie, Aunt Praline, and Cousin Ray Ray. That’s not remotely fair to the man you are trying to get involved with. It’s like making him jump through hoops, when in all honesty he doesn’t even know if you are worth him jumping. Let me bring home my point. It’s a terrible idea to take your potential bae around your family on date one, if you are legally old enough drink. And that means, don’t take him to your family reunion or cookout.
- Bring Your Friends
For the life of me, I can’t understand why people invite their friends on a first date. When a guy agrees to meet YOU, and hang out with YOU, he just wants to meet YOU. He doesn’t want to meet Jim, James, Paul, and Tyrone. The man doesn’t know you, and yet you want him to get to know you and your entire crew. Unless you’re 13 and need supervision, group dates like this are a horrible idea. It also sends a sign that you may lack maturity when it comes to romance, but that’s another topic for another day.
- Give Access to the Cookies
I know with the right guy under the right circumstances, having sex on the first date seems like a must. You meet up with him, and he’s just got everything going right for him. His skin is glowing, his line-up is fresh and popping, his thick beard has you wanting to call him “zaddy”, and his body looks like a wonderland. Not to mention, his cologne is intoxicating. The man just has you ready to pounce.
However, as tempting as it is to give up the goods to this man right away, I caution you against it. In many cases, although not all, having sex on the first date doesn’t lead to lasting romance. As a matter of fact, more often than not it leads to a one night stand, or at best a complicated situationship. If you’re looking for something deeper, than lock up the treasure for a bit.