Hello Readers! Before you read too far into this, let me start by saying this in fact is not Tavion Scott. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Euphonious K.Z.G. That’s pronounced U-Phony-Us. Tavion decided to loan me his platform on this fine Monday. Heck, this Monday and the Mondays to come. See, he asked me to be his first guest writer for his blog which blew my mind. So I am humbled and honored to have this opportunity and space to share my thoughts, creativity, emotions, weirdness, and light with you all. I hope you enjoy this journey with me. Now I’m a novice and an artist…so I’m sensitive about my shit lol.
So a little bit about me. I love holding hands and longs walks on the beach lol. I’m from Detroit Michigan…raised in both Southfield and the west side of Detroit, so mad love to all the readers from the 248 and 313! I am a writer…not in the blogging sense, this is a first for me, but I write poetry, deep thoughts, and spoken word. I’m also an autism therapist.
I am a singer, one that is currently on a journey of getting serious about training his craft, so you all shall be hearing from me once I’m ready. I am a very goofy, a member of two fraternities and spiritually natured guy…definitely an empath. OH! AND I LOVE ANIME AND NERDY THINGS LIKE DINOSAURS, HISTORY, ASTROLOGY, THEORIES, ETC… Let’s not forget I am a BLACK GAY MALE, emphasis on that because they are all important to my identity. One is not more or less important than the other. Well that’s enough with the formalities let’s do some sharing today.
I was once an extremely extroverted boy who loved people more than himself; an innocent boy with the light of the world in his eyes. A boy who tried too hard to fit in with everyone, even when I didn’t know I was trying hard or being someone who I wasn’t. In all fairness, I didn’t even know who I was yet myself. This lead to that little boy enduring a lot of pain and for years it was like trying on clothes and trying to see the world through permanent sunglasses. Playing with different styles to see what feels right on me. The crazy part is there were people who were calling my bluff and seeing through my guise the entire time.
My journey towards being an artist has been painted with a lot of fears and insecurities. They became parasites that latched onto my being trapping me in what feels like a continuous pause. I wish someone would’ve recognized these parasites in my youth. These same parasites have continued to show up time and time again throughout my life…invading spaces that I couldn’t see were connected such as my love life.
My love life has been filled with one large high followed by a brutal devastation and seasoned with ever occurring disappointments. A ten-year situation that resulted in traumatic heart break to dating and being involved with people who completely disregarded my emotions and feelings. Always the groomsmen never the groom or always the bridesmaid never the bride…whichever one works lol. The process of it all led me from a place of self-blame to self-introspection and discernment, as it pertains to matters of the heart, but yeah…we’ll circle back to this stuff for sure lol.
Different experiences from coming out, to heartbreak and hurt have all cultivated me to be who I am thus far. By all intents and purposes, I am here to be transparent with you all. My journey through this space that we call life has been a very interesting one even to this point. With so many levels to my identity I have found myself in the most oppressed and hated minority of them all, a black gay man. That alone has caused me to fight, endure, and grow through many adversities that have come before me.
I am currently in a state of metamorphosis in my life. Things and people that once appealed to me I no longer enjoy. I no longer feel bad about saying no to things I do not want to take part in. I am finding fun in partying by myself. I enjoy the time I have alone to do absolutely nothing. To reflect. To work out! The exciting part of it all are the moments of happiness and reflection I experience. The moments where I can see the growth before my very eyes. I feel it within my heart. The inner child in me that has been hurting for such a long time feels lighter and his sense of return seems impending. Every day isn’t easy. There are days where I’m happy, feeling like the baddest man in the world. Then there are days where I am angry. Where I am sad and crying…where I am releasing. The biggest thing I have come into is self-realization, which has set me on a path to self-actualization, and ACCOUNTABILITY.
During this phase of my metamorphosis I find myself rather introverted, sometimes to a fault and a lot more than I like. I find myself being more blunt. I am occasionally lost in a blasé space, numb, seeing only little glimmers of innocence left in my eyes. A space where mixed emotions are clashing inside of my soul fighting to see who will be top dog for that day. I don’t know if anyone else out there is currently in this space in their lives or have been through this BUT it is one of the most terrifying and exciting spaces ever. Again, we will circle back to these things later.
So many scary, new and exciting paths full of unique challenges await me as I journey ahead. Now I have a new outlet to share my thoughts, experiences and emotions. I hope that through my words you all are able to connect with me. I hope that you all are encouraged to start your own metamorphosis of healing. I hope that my transparency will help someone out there feel understood. I hope it helps people find the light and love within themselves as I’m finding it inside of me.
Although I am extremely nervous, I am ever so thankful to you all for reading and to Tavion for allowing me to share. I am journeying towards freedom and with that freedom comes peace and the ultimate self-love. This is my journey…my metamorphosis through the eyes of a weird nerdy flower child Afrocentric revolutionary queer black man…and these are only a few lenses…so buckle up and enjoy the ride.
With the light of Healing and Love,
– Euphonious K.Z.G
Ps. Feel free to comment and to share with me, my future posts won’t be as long as this one, I promise lol! Oh and connect with me on social media.