Dating

Cuffing Season and the “Trap of the Ex”

Given that Cuffing Season has again swung into full effect, I feel obligated to issue a public warning.  I feel compelled to cautioned readers against falling into the “Trap of the Ex.”  Usually during Cuffing Season, exes have a way of popping up out of the blue like clockwork.  It’s as if a sensor goes off alerting them that it’s that special time of year and their former bae is single.  Heck, if I’m honest, the ex may not know or care if the former bae is single, and still feel compelled to reach out in some way.  If none of this sounds familiar to you yet, allow me to make it a little more personal for you.

Picture it.  The summer has come and gone, whatever flings you had have settled back into the routines of their own lives, and all of a sudden, you get a text from an ex you haven’t spoken to in months.  Usually the text will be one of the following:

  • Hey Stranger
  • Sup
  • What’s Up
  • Hey
  • So you don’t know me anymore
  • Mm… Hello
  • WYD
  • Oh you forgot about me

And by chance if the text you receive has no words in it at all, it will be the classic eyes emoji. Folks are good for sending that emoji as a way to see if it’s safe to engage in a conversation.  For some odd reason, people find that easier to send then an actual hello or hi.  I for one don’t get it, but know this is a tactical dating move used quite frequently these days.  Any who, whether it’s one of the above written texts or the emoji, many of you should be starting to feel connected to this post if you haven’t already.

Look folks, don’t fall for the trap.  Don’t allow yourself to get swept back into a relationship or situationship with a person that is an ex for a very good reason.  Be strong and resist their good charm and enticing propositions. Remember the satisfaction of forward moment, and the detriments of backward mobility.

Now yes, I have been known to endorse exes reuniting from time to time. But I only support getting back together with someone, if both people of the former relationship have noticeably grown. I’m sure we all have heard “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.” And it’s insane for individuals to reunite if they, and perhaps even their circumstances, haven’t changed.

So every time an ex contacts you in this new Cuffing Season, ask yourself “Will allowing this person in my life be a help or hindrance to me?”  “Am I being insane rekindling something with someone that I know won’t work because nothing has changed?”  “Am I opening the door for this person again to satisfy my own feelings of loneliness?”

Oh, and for all the good times an ex will remind you that you two shared, it’s your job to remember all the reasons you don’t work.  So if the sex was always amazing, you have to recall all the bad stuff that went down between you two outside of the bedroom. If he was always showering you with extravagant gifts, think about if you were always receiving the gifts because he was constantly mistreating you. Just some things to keep in mind.

Once more, I’m just taking a little time to issue a little warning.  I’m trying to give some of you the extra push to break a cycle with your ex, and to happily move on. I don’t want people to be a victim of comfort and convenience.

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