Whenever individuals decide to put their heart in the hands of another person, there is always a chance their heart will take on a few bumps and bruises. Folks are imperfect and prone to make mistakes, and some relationships and situationships simply can’t survive the imperfections and mistakes. People lie. People cheat. Heck, sometimes people do both. And broken hearts are the result. However, I wish people stop using the experience of heartache and pain, to demonize all men and to swear off all men.
I’ve scrolled through my timelines many a days to see rants about how “men aren’t sh*t.” Usually this harsh position accompanies a long story about how a person was happy in a relationship or blossoming situationship, only to find out the “bae” had been sliding into DMs, texting mysterious numbers, and perhaps even sleeping with other people. Every time I see these types of posts I feel bad for the “victims”, but I think it’s unfair to insult all men. As if all men make it their life mission to screw over other people. But that’s simply not true. Some men are so loyal that they’ll never lie or cheat. And just because a man lies or cheats, doesn’t make him some evil nemesis.
No one is perfect, and I’m sure you’ve made your share of mistakes in the handling of another person’s feelings. It doesn’t make you a bad person necessarily. You could be a good guy that made bad choices. And so could your ex. (I mean your ex could have been a terrible person, but that shouldn’t result in all guys are dogs.) I’m not going to take the time today to advocate for cheaters, but believe me, there is a post coming diving more into the topic of infidelity.
Now about this whole idea of swearing off men. For most people, this is an improbable concept that sounds good at the time in the midst of hurt. However, weeks go by, and hearts start seeking companionship and loins start throbbing. Heck, after some more time goes by, the punishment these individuals think they are shelling out by boycotting men, starts feeling like a self-inflicted jail sentence. Swearing off men with a reason rooted in bitterness, although human nature, is not that wise. Especially, long-term.
Look, don’t get me wrong, I’m all for people taking some personal time to be single. I think folks taking time to themselves to heal and grow is very important. Every relationship and situationship should teach us something about ourselves when they end, and those are usually lessons we as humans can only learn in reflective time spent alone. But again, swearing off men altogether more than likely means you aren’t spending time learning anything if you’re squarely focused on being wronged. At some point you have to forgive and move on. So remember all this the next time some guy purposefully or accidentally steps on the pumping vessel in your chest.