friendship

I Can’t Do Clubs Anymore, I’m a Homebody

T,

What the heck is wrong with being a homebody? I mean truly.  My friends complain from time to time that I never want to go out on the weekend.  Which is true.  However, I don’t really enjoy it anymore.  I’ll go out on the rare occasion, but I just don’t want to be a regular these days.  Why should I pay to have a mediocre time hanging out, when I can have a good time hanging at home for free?  Don’t get me wrong, I love my friends and spending time with them, but I just rather hang out with them at my place, their place, or even a happy hour.  Anywho, what are your thoughts?

-Get Me Home

Dear Get Me Home,

Thank you for writing to me.  I can proudly tell you today that I too am a homebody.  When I completed undergrad, I did the whole club thing.  I mean I was in the club every other weekend (coinciding with pay day lol).  However, that phase of my life got tired rather quickly.  I grew tired of going to the same places, doing the same thing, and seeing the same people.  Plus, I got tired of dropping money on clubs when it could have been spent on other things.

Once I morphed into a homebody, I had to get my friends to a place where they understood my decision to stay home was NOT a reflection of my willingness to hang with them.  In my case to be honest, my closest friends understood that.  Heck, they too had reached a point where they were just as tired as I was, and we collectively opted to attend more house gatherings and happy hours. This is an example of collective growth in a similar direction.

And it is human nature to grow and change.  So today if you don’t like doing what you did two years ago, that’s perfectly fine.  Especially given we are talking about not wanting to go to the club here.  Heck, I’m not sure how old you are, but the appeal of club hopping was bound to wear off as you got older anyway. One day, more than likely your friends will themselves get tired of going out themselves, and be ready to join you in your homebody movement.

Suggestions going forward.

  1. While I recommend being straight up with your friends and explaining you don’t enjoy going out anymore, you can hit them with a barrage of excuses as to why you can’t go clubbing until they get the point. For example, one time you can claim to be tired. Another you can say you aren’t feeling that well.  And another you can vow that you have something you have to do early the next morning?  Eventually your friends will get the hint, and stop asking you to come out with them on Friday and Saturday nights.   HOWEVER, by choosing this option rather than being upfront, may lead your friends to think you don’t want to hang out with them period.  Which could lead to an unnecessary rift in your friendship.

 

  1. There is also the popular option of temporarily going M.I.A. How this works, is when your friends text you asking if you want to go out to some spot, don’t reply to the text until the next morning.  In that reply text you claim to have fallen asleep or not having seen their initial text.  The problem with doing this, is it only saves you from going out once or maybe twice.  Plus, it could again lead to you causing a rift in the friendship.

 

  1. It’s worth repeating, just be upfront with your friends, and hope they understand. If they don’t understand, consider yourself growing, and perhaps just outgrowing them.

 

  1. Oh, and you can adopt a club schedule like the one I have. I usually only go to them for a friend’s birthday, for out of town guests, or New Year’s Eve.

As always nothing but love,

T.

 

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