Dating

Is It too Soon to Be in Love?

T,

Is three weeks too soon to know that you love someone?  I met ole boy about three weeks ago, and there is something so special about him.  We text and talk all day every day, and we just have so much in common.   Our vibe is crazy.  We are so into each other.  Well at least I’m really into him.  The crazy thing is, we’ve not even had sex.  I mean we’ve fooled around, but no sex.  So yeah, is it too early for me to think I love him?

-Love on the Brain ‘12

Dear Love on the Brain ’12,

Thanks for writing to me.  First off let me say, I know how good it feels to be so into a guy.  I understand that when you date wrong guy after wrong guy, a man that you just click with is a breath of fresh air.  And when you find that seemingly great guy, you naturally start to think about what a future together would look like. Along that line of thinking, sometimes you have a tendency to rush the progression of a relationship.  Which everyone has done at least once. So I get it.

The thing is, three weeks is really not a long time.  Especially, when you are trying to use the word love and mean it.  While I have no doubt you and this guy have gotten to know things about one another, I’m hesitant to believe that you have gotten acquainted with him well enough to love him.  It’s not impossible, but improbable for most people to fall in love that quickly.

Now I’m not attempting to discredit your feelings here.  I’m only trying to encourage you to sift through your emotions, and be sure you know the difference between love and fascination.  Like I said, it’s nice to meet someone who isn’t a dud.  But, just because a person isn’t a dud, doesn’t mean they are the perfect match for you.  I encourage you to get to know him some more.  Once more time goes by, and flaws become more apparent, you may realize that you don’t actually love him.

Suggestions going forward.

  1. Don’t tell this man this you think you love him. After only three weeks, most guys will run for dear life if you drop the “L-Bomb” this early in a courtship.

 

  1. Continue to be excited by this guy, and the possibilities. While I suggest you take things slow, by no means should you let that suggestion to diminish your excitement.

 

  1. No matter what I, or anyone tells you, if the Spirit, your mind, and your heart are all in alignment about this guy, then there you have it. But make sure your heart and your hormones aren’t driving the car in this scenario.

As always nothing but love,

T.

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