We all have that date that was so bad, you won’t ever be able to forget it even if you tried. You gave up time you’ll never get back to sit across a dinner table with someone too boring, too weird, or too fresh for your liking. While I’ve never been out with someone that had me running to the hills necessarily, I have been on a few first dates that didn’t result in a second. For the sake of this conversation, let’s talk about my dates with “Mr. Freddie Brooks” and “Mr. Charm City.”
Now I call this first guy Mr. Freddie Brooks, because being with him for an hour was like being with the renowned character from classic show A Different World. The Cree Summer character made for great television, but not for a good companion in my opinion. This is real life after all.
If my memory serves me correctly, I first came in contact with this man via BGC Live or A4A. Based on the written profile he had posted, I reached out to him, and that sparked a conversation between us. After the initial vetting process most users of dating sites and apps conduct, we exchanged phone numbers and began texting back and forth. Due to conflicting schedules, we decided to go on a date during the day which consisted of lunch and a stroll down the block.
On the day of the outing, I pick him up and we head into the city. My initial impression was that he looked like the pictures he sent to me for the most part. Just a bit skinnier. However, when he began speaking, I found his face-to-face persona was drier than the entertaining individual that I had been conversing with behind a keyboard and screen. I didn’t think much of it initially, because I thought it was just his nerves. But when we sat down to eat, the dry personality transformed into an annoying one.
Every subject we talked about at that lunch table became a politicized and/or racial topic. To give you an idea of what I’m talking about, here is an example of the conversation.
Mr. Freddie Brooks: So what kind of music do you like?
Me: I like Kanye and Beyoncé?
Mr. Freddie Brooks: Wow really? Those are some big sellouts. They’ve allowed themselves to be pawns in the music industry, and sold out themselves and black culture for a few dollars.
Oh and then there was this gem.
Mr. Freddie Brooks: Oh I don’t use any products that aren’t natural. So only natural soaps, deodorants, and toothpaste. You should try it. The products you’re using are damaging to the environment and your body.
Me: Alrighty then.
I’m not even sure how I was supposed to respond to this last comment. I fought the urge to tell him that it was over 95 degrees outside and the deodorant he was using was absolutely not working. Needless to say, after 45 minutes of that type of discussion, I created a reason why I had to abruptly end the outing. After I dropped him off, I was so relieved to be free of that situation.
Now Mr. Charm City got more than one date, but that first date was terrible because of the series of events. Interestingly enough, our first date started at a church event. As a part of his side hustle, he helped with the development of local gospel artists, and a few groups he was potentially going to work with were singing. It was a different first date, but I love the Lord, so I went.
While in the church, he kept getting fresh though. He wasn’t physically kissing me or groping me. However, he kept showing me pictures of his snatch. I was desperately trying to ignore him, because the last thing I wanted to be, was aroused in church. Thankfully, he eventually got the hint. Once we departed from church, things went left.
After we exited the event, he drove us to down the highway to get something to eat. Unfortunately while in route, he got a flat tire. So there we were, on the side of the road just chilling, waiting for roadside service. In the hour that we waited though, we had a little conversation and some “interesting activity.” It was the first time I’ve experienced such activity in a car, in public, and on a highway. SMH!
Well after the roadside service patched up the tire, we had to go to a restaurant that held late hours. I was so hungry at the time, I was ready to eat anything. At least that’s what I thought. The food was not hitting on anything when we eventually got it. I didn’t complain because I was trying to be a team player, but I’d rather have been at Ihop or something.
Once we left the restaurant, he took me back to my friend’s place where I was staying for the weekend. Unfortunately for me, my friend had fallen asleep, and didn’t answer any of the 50 calls I made to his phone. He lived in one of those apartment buildings that you needed key access to get inside, and there was no doorman. I couldn’t even trail anyone inside, because it was 2 or 3 in the morning, and everyone seemed to be in for the night.
My date for the evening was sweet and waited with me for about an hour, but then I told him to go. Thankfully I had my keys, so I slept in my car for the night. Well tried to. I couldn’t really go into a deep sleep, because I didn’t want to miss my opportunity to get inside the building. I knew my friend would wake up if I could just knock on the door.
When my buddy eventually woke around 7 am, he apologized profusely, but I really wasn’t mad. I was tired more than anything and I had my memories of “highway escapades” to keep me company. LOL! Like I said, this was a bad date due to circumstances not the person.
Until next time folks!