I know I’m not the only one that has had his fair share of weird experiences using certain dating apps and sites. And the weird experiences aren’t generated by these apps, but more so by the community of users that log into them. Just keep reading, and tell me you can’t relate. Truth be told, you may have some more you want to add to the list.
Catfish Are Real
Catfish is more than just a show on TV. On a daily basis, folks are on these networks attempting to build “situationships” and relationships with people that are mere “Decepticons.” These “Decepticons” will create profiles that will lead page visitors into believing they are making money like Oprah, built like Hercules, have the personality of Kevin Hart, and look better than Shemar Moore. Don’t you know with all that going on, these individuals won’t even meet the people they feel so comfortable flirting with behind glass screens? And why is that? Simply put, they are lying. Duh! Their profile pictures they used to lure you in are probably of someone they ran across via Facebook or Tumblr. Oh and the well-crafted write-ups are mere reflections of their ability to be creative and know what a demographic generally finds attractive.
Don’t get me wrong, there are a few on these dating apps that are just as good as they seem. They are the like modern day Prince Charmings. However, if you are using Jack’d, Grindr, Hornet, and whatever else, do yourself a favor and know the difference between fake and real.
Bae, Babe, Baby, or Beau Will Become Your New Name
This may be a personal pet peeve of a few, but it’s valid nonetheless. Folks calling someone baby after a week of knowing them is a TURN OFF! Especially when they know the person’s name, but refuse to use it. I get that some folks may think there is nothing wrong with calling a relationship prospect babe so soon after meeting. And they may even see it as endearing. But there are many people such as myself, that find it a little creepy and lazy.
Individuals should use a person’s name until they’ve earned the right to call them by something else. I mean folks ought to at least put in some time and some dates first. Plus, people should want to show they aren’t the kind of guy to refer to someone as babe or boo, simply because they don’t want to risk confusing the names of the many people they may be talking to at the time.
“Let Me See It”
How many of you readers out there have gotten the unsolicited d*ck pic or a$$ photo. The sender thinks if they show off the best angles of their goodies, you will find them irresistible. And before you stare for too long at the images, you get a message like “let me see that meat,” or “yo what that ass look like?” Which in turn, leaves you in an uncomfortable position. You don’t want to send your nude selfies or perhaps you would have been more willing to do so had the person you’re talking to not been such the eager beaver and jumped the gun so early in a “situationship.”
*On a side note, word of advice I heard. “Be more than a penis.” Let that soak in for a bit.
Picking from a too Familiar Dating Pool
If you’ve ever been on Grindr, A4A, or whatever other social apps out there for a little bit, then you’ve probably learned how limited your choices in men are. After about a month or so of using these networks, you soon realize that you keep coming across the same profiles, of the same people, saying the same things. Heck you may even see a few of your exes looking for love or a sex buddy. That’s when the fun of hopping on these social networks becomes about as enjoyable as a root canal procedure without anesthesia.
Distance is Real
I wish I could provide you all with an answer as to why all the good men worth dealing with are nowhere near you. Why you live on the north side of Philly, and the man of your dreams resides in the heart of Houston, Texas. Unfortunately, that’s just how the cookie crumbles. And for some, the cookie crumbles this way a little too often. The only advice I can give you on this, is either move out of your current city or take another good look at your neighbor two doors down. LOL!
People Ignore the Context Clues
Every now and then on these dating apps and sites, you will come across a relentless profile user. Don’t quite know what I mean, let me paint a picture. Picture it, you’re on OkCupid or Jack’d and you get a message from a man that you know for sure is not your type. Let’s say the message reads “I saw your profile and had to stop by. What’s going on sexy?” Given you aren’t a fan of his or his swag, you politely just respond “Thanks.” Then you get a reply “So what are you into?” You don’t respond for a while, but when you do it’s with a generic “chilling.” A few hours later another response from this man, “Everything good over there?” This time you say nothing back. Several more hours go by, and you receive another message from him. Then another. Before you know it, you’ve been bombarded with messages from a guy all because you were trying not to be mean, and he was refusing to see the big “No” that was staring him in the face.
Quick lesson here for those that may not know. 99% of the time when you send a message to someone that elicits more than a one word response, and all you get back is just the one word. Then take that as a sign the person is not that into you. In the above scenario, the “thanks” was the giant stop sign that the relentless profile user missed. Social cues are quite telling people!
What They Tell You vs. What They Really Want
Oh and I can’t forget this ugly truth. You may be one of the several people out here using these networking tools as an effort to find genuine love. And you make that crystal clear on your profile. So when a person starts messaging with you, you assume he is into the same thing. A few days go by, and you suggest meeting up for this first time. He then proposes the infamous “Netflix and chill.” Listen, that is not a first date activity. That is for booty calls or relationships. Since you two haven’t met yet, please know his real motives are probably not to cuff you.