Dating, friendship, relationships

Letter to a Younger Me…What Would You Tell a Younger You?

Dear Younger Self,

Don’t file this away as spam, or as something completely irrelevant.   I want you to take time to really think on the words I’m about to share with you.  Not because I’ve all of a sudden discovered the answers to all of life’s problems.  Or because I desperately want to be another person today.  But instead, look at my letter as words of wisdom from a more knowledgeable you.  Words to help you to be a little less naive about somethings as you get older.   After all besides Jesus, I’m the only that truly knows the real you.  Including the “you” that you try to keep hidden and the “you” that you don’t even know exists yet.

First things first, don’t allow a fear of what people may think about you confine you to a box.   A box where you are afraid to try anything and explore the opportunities that will be presented before you.  Believe me, you don’t want to look back on life decisions and wonder “shoulda, coulda, woulda.”  As the older you, I’m thankful for the life that has been lived and the path God has placed us on.  But truthfully, I sometimes think about what life may look like today had you been more bold and willing to step out on faith. I think perhaps we would have reached certain conclusions earlier rather than later.   However, it’s all good.  Just gained a few “battle scars.”  And don’t worry, I’m trying to step out on faith more and more presently, and want to kick it up a notch going into the future.

Also, you owe it to yourself to live your life as honest as possible.  Now that’s going to require some courage on your part, but trust me you have it within you.  In the long run, you’ll be a better person for not pretending to be something you’re not and never was.  So listen, no matter how many times you tell yourself you’re straight, you’re not.  Baby boy, you are gay!  And that’s perfectly okay.  God doesn’t love you less because of that, and your mom will still be in your corner.  It make take a while for your mom to accept your sexuality, but she will come around.  You’re her baby.

As far as the friends you grew up with, when they find out you are gay some won’t be the most supportive at first.  But don’t shut them out right away and place a time of death on the friendship.  Give them some time to realize that you may like men, but you are the same person.  You still like the same sports, enjoy the same genre of movies, and have many of the same interests that bonded you all in the first place.  Just make sure you define what gay means for you, so they don’t place gross stereotypes on your life.

By the way, once you come to grips with the fact you represent the “G” in LGBT, don’t be the eager beaver when it comes to dating.  Every man that you come across does not want a relationship, and you can’t force one.  So be smart, and take things slow.  Oh and don’t waste your time in a “situationship” where the guy is deceptive in his personality and his motives.  If he starts feeding you bullsh$t, take that as your exit cue.  Remember the saying, everything that glitters ain’t gold.

On one last not, don’t be afraid of change.  Change is an inevitable part of life.  I know for you, change is uncomfortable and even scary at times.  But you have to be willing to bend when some situations become different or you will break.  Coming from the older you, believe me when I say we are often thankful for change when we get the whole picture.

I’m sure I have so much more to tell you, but I figured I’d let these little nuggets of wisdom sink in first.

As always nothing but love,

T.

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