Dating

Top 5 Signs You Are Involved in Lopsided Dating

Happy Monday folks! Today’s post is going to be slightly different.  About a few weeks ago, I answered a question about what I called lopsided dating (Lopsided Dating).  Well, I was recently asked by a fellow blogger if I could sum up the top signs a person is involved in a lopsided dating situation/relationship.  Naturally, I decided to just formulate a list instead of responding with my usual letter.  So without further ado, the Top 5 Signs You Are Involved in Lopsided Dating.

  1. You Still Don’t Know His Last Name

If you have been dating a guy for more than 2 weeks and you still don’t know his last name, that’s a red flag.  Knowing someone’s real name is the first step in getting to know the real them.  And a man not willing to share his last name with you, tells me is not sure if he wants to let his guard down and show you who he really is.  You can’t be in a great dating situationship if only one of you is willing to reveal himself.

And look, I understand that people sometimes meet on sites like Jack’d and Grindr, and initially some people may use an alias or nickname while talking to someone.  They do that an effort to feel people out to make certain the folks they are talking with aren’t crazy or off their rocker.  But, if someone is really attempting to date another person, he will offer up a first and last name after some time of communication, and he sees someone as sane and datable.

  1. The Information You Know about Him is Limited to a Facebook Page

Real dating should extend outside of the walls of Facebook.  Someone that views you as a potential mate won’t hesitate in letting you know who they are outside of likes listed on a social networking site.  I for one am not a fan of trying to get to know a guy, and he tells me basic information I can find out with a few clicks.   So if a man likes Jay Z, then he should be willing to tell you the story of why/how he came to love Jay Z and why he finds his lyrics relatable.  The story of the why and how is more telling about the man than the actual expressed interest is listed on a page.  Don’t date someone that will only offer you basic and surface level info about themselves, and nothing more.

  1. You Have to Make Multiple Requests to Go Out

It’s never a good sign when dating, if the guy you are involved with always has a reason why he can’t go out with you.  You ask him out to dinner one day, he has something to do for his grandma.  You ask him out to a movie another day, he has to help his friend move.  You ask him over to watch Hulu or Netflix, and he tells you he has an early morning at work the next day.  Listen, such excuses offered by themselves and every once in a while aren’t necessarily a sign.  But these excuses offered back to back as a way to get out of meeting with you, paints a pretty vivid picture to me.  Hear me clearly, people will always make time for who and what they really want.  A person really interested in you will move things around on his schedule if possible, and risk a few hours of sleep every now and then to hang out with you.

  1. The Communication between You Two is Limited

Limited communication between you and a potential bae is not a good sign.  When someone is interested in you, they will make an effort in responding to your texts, phone calls, or social media messages.  They won’t choose to continue to ignore your communication attempts.  Now having said that, let me make this point.  Some people are not glued to their phone, or readily able to respond to your every message right away.  So you can’t expect responses to your communication when you want it necessarily.  However, a person interested in dating you will respond when they can, and apologize if there is a “rude” delay time in terms of replies back.

Also, if communication occurs only in what I call “booty call” hours, beware!  Communication after midnight with people you are trying to get to know in a romantic capacity, in many instances lead to sexualized conversations. If a guy’s communication is piss pore until late night rolls around, and he messages you things like “wyd” or “sup,” be careful.  You may be trying to date him, but he is just trying to get him some nookie from you.

  1. You Find Out He is Seeing Multiple Other People

This should be a relatively obvious sign.  Yeah I know it’s pretty common for people to date a few folks at the same time, but I’ve found doing that can be very distracting when trying to get to know a potential mate.  And think about it, if you are focused on dating just him, and yet he is focused on juggling all those he is currently talking to, do you honestly think you are in an equal dating situationship?

As always nothing but love,

T.

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