Lopsided Dating…He’s Not that into You

Dear T,

I’m in a dating situation that seems lopsided.  I’ve been talking to this guy for about 6 weeks, and whenever we talk, most of the time it’s because I initiated the conversation.  And the few occasions he does text or call me, it’s at night and always winds up being sexual.  I try to get to know things about him, and I don’t even think he’s asked me anything about where I went to school or where I grew up.  I thought maybe perhaps he is a little bad at dating, so I’ve been trying to be patient with him and stick it out.  But my sister told me to cut my losses because the guy is just not that into me.  What do you think?


Need to Know

Dear Need to Know,

I appreciate you seeking out my advice.  I’m sorry to tell you this, but your sister is right.  From the little bit that you’ve told me, sounds like you are definitely in a lopsided dating situation.  If a guy is interested in dating you, he will make a genuine effort to get to know you.  Unprovoked, a guy will ask you things like where are you from?  What do you like to do in your free time?  What is your favorite movie? He will ask you questions like these to gauge whether you are worth pursuing as a mate.  And whether or not you are dating material for him or for lack of a better term, a sex buddy.

You didn’t say whether or not you two had been intimate, but I’m assuming you have been or alluded to him that you want to be.  The fact this guy only reaches out to you at night, and directs the conversation to sex is not a good sign necessarily that he wants what you want out of your association.  It sounds like you desire more than sex, so continuing to talk to this guy for a week  is not a good idea.   And by the way, say this guy is bad with dating.  Would you really want to be tied to him anyway?  Put a higher value on your time.

Going forward here are my suggestions.

  1. Remember, a guy’s actions will always tell you what his intentions are. So if he tells you he is seeking someone to be in a relationship with, but he is making no effort to get to know you beyond “what that mouth do” or “where’s the freakiest place you’ve had sex,” then you should realize he wants you for the sake of having someone convenient around to help him get a nut.
  1. Don’t waste any more time with this man if you want a relationship out of life. You know what you want, so don’t settle.
  1. Sounds like your sister has some sense. Do yourself a favor and listen to her once in a while.

As always nothing but love,


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2 thoughts on “Lopsided Dating…He’s Not that into You”

  1. Mama'sBoy 92 says:

    Right on the money right here

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