Dating, relationships, The Lifestyle

Can Your Future Boo Be on Jack’d?

Dear T,

Is it really impossible to meet a boyfriend on Jack’d, Grindr, or other apps like that?  My friends say those things are just hook up sites.  And granted I haven’t met a guy with relationship potential yet on Jack’d, but I’d like to hold out some hope.  What do you think?

Appreciate the response,

BGC Live 91

Dear BGC Live 91,

Your name just made me choke in laughter.  LOL!  I haven’t heard of BGC Live in a good while.  I remember my days surfing that site hoping to find a reason, a.k.a. a man, to get me off of it.  However, much like Jack’d, Grindr, and Adam4Adam, BGC has more men on it interested in snatching some quick cakes or gripping a good fun stick for a few hours, than it has men wanting to put in work to develop a real relationship. While I’m not saying your friends are completely right believing those sites are just hookup sites, I am saying they most definitely have a point.

For a lot of men, apps like Jack’d have become a go to source to find a quick lay.  These men log into the app when they are horny and want a nearby hole to climb in and/or pole to slide down. (NOT judging by the way).  You fall in the roughly 20% of people on those things that want something more than a one night stand.  With that said, it’s possible for you find a man on those things.  You just have to know what to look for, and what to avoid.  So feel free to continue to hold out hope, but don’t be naive.

Going forward here are my usual suggestions.

  1. DO NOT view these apps and sites as your only way of meeting men. I assume the 91 in your tag name is an indication of your birth year, which means you are at least 21. Try venturing to your local gay or gay friendly bar or club, and see who you meet.  You may find your future boo doesn’t confine themselves to a phone or computer screen.
  1. If you continue using these apps and sites in search of a relationship, I have a few tips for you.
  • Stay away from those accounts with dick pics and a$$ shots as their profile pictures. There is a 98.5% chance the men running those profiles are more interested in busting a nut than developing something long-term.
  • If you’ve only been messaging back and for with a guy for a few days, and he only hits you up at night, and it’s with “wyd,” “what’s good,” or “aye you trying to come over and watch a movie,” then there is a good chance that guy is trying to connect with you on a sexual level. It’s possible he is just trying to get to know you to see if you’re a compatible partner, but I’m not new to this gay arena and have witnessed many things when dating.
  • If after messaging a guy for more than two weeks, and you two haven’t exchanged numbers to communicate outside of the sites, then that’s not a good sign you can build something with him.
  • Under no circumstances should you reveal a pic of yourself nude to a guy on this site. Doing that sends the message your priority lies with sex and not dating.  Even if a guy sends you an unsolicited pic of his goods, don’t send one in return.

As always nothing but love,

T.

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