Dating

Dating Daddy Daycare

Dear T,

How do you feel about dating a guy with two kids? I’ve met this great guy and we’ve been really vibing over the past 2 weeks or so. However, we haven’t been on a date yet because his schedule has been super busy lately. He said his one kid has been sick, and the other one has been having issues at school. And there in lies the problem I guess. I’m nervous that if I start dating this guy and we try to build something, it wouldn’t work because he won’t have time for me. Am I making this a bigger deal than it has to be? Should I just go out with him?

Much appreciation,

No Baby Daddy

Well hello there,

And thanks for writing me. Dating a guy with kids is not for everybody. It requires a person who is really patient, extremely flexible with his time, and fully understands that he will always come second to his mate’s children. If you aren’t the person that possesses these qualities, then abort the mission. LOL! I wouldn’t recommend getting too involved with this guy.

You may be wondering right now, “what if this guy is the ‘one,’ and is willing to make me a priority if we get into a relationship?” Well, if at any point while you two are dating he puts you before his kids, then he isn’t the “one.” A real man worth having will always put his kids first if he has them. And if a guy has kids and doesn’t see them or take care of them at all, RETURN HIM TO SENDER. If he can’t treat his own seeds right, in the long run he won’t treat you any better.

And I didn’t even mention the potential dynamic between you and the kids. Are you emotionally equipped for them not to like you? Because that’s a very real possibility. That level of discomfort could put a strain on any potential relationship. And it takes a strong person to deal with that.

Even though I pretty much just made a case why someone shouldn’t date a man with children, I also know that people fall for who they fall for. If you click with this guy, go on a date or two. Should you two become a thing, and he works you into his family, that’s sweet. And kudos!!!! For lack of a better term, a man’s kids could be considered as a man’s “baggage.” Everyone one has “baggage,” whether it be kids, or limited finances, or ex husbands or wives, etc.

Going forward, here are my suggestions.

  1. Don’t think of yourself of being shallow for not wanting to date a guy with kids. Again, not everyone is able to handle that.
  2. I didn’t mentioned it, but if you date this man, check his “baby mama” situation. The last thing you want to do is to get entangled with a guy with a “baby mama” that is cray cray. She may try to mess with you or something.

As always, nothing but love,

T.

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