relationships

My Boyfriend Is Definitely not Giving Me the Sex I Deserve

 Dear Tavion,

I’ve been with my boyfriend for four years, we have a great relationship and 2 kids now. He’s an amazing guy and takes care of us his family but when it comes to our sex life, it’s just not what it used to be. He used to last long the first year of us being together, now only lasts about 2 seconds. I get so frustrated because we both know he used to be a hoe, now I know everyone has a past but he’s told me stories of 3somes and whatnot, and I can’t help but feel like he gave his best dick days away already and I’m getting  hardly anything. I’ve always voiced my concerns, never keep anything in ,but nothing has changed. I’m at the point already where I’d rather use my vibrator to pleasure myself and recently have thought about finding someone else on the side. I know that’s so bad, I just don’t know what to do anymore.

-Not Getting What I Deserve

Dating

Would It Be Okay to Have Casual Sex with My Personal Trainer?

Hey Tavion,

Quick question.

When I was a Freshman in College I ended up casually dating one guy I met through my sister back when we were maybe in 6 or 7th grade. Any who we have some history. Flash forward a couple of years I ended up meeting up with him in 2012-13.

We talked some, took me to the movies before he had a car or anything. Then we ended up sleeping together, I didn’t know that I was his first (until years later did I find out) .Well he was going to go off into the Marines and start a career there. I had just began my BA. A serious relationship during that time, wasn’t great. The timing was off.

So years later he comes back a Vet and I a Masters Student furthering my Edu. We have always kept contact and now he is my Personal Trainer.  I have heard his stories of him sleeping with other women and I don’t mind a single man will be a single man, same as a woman (enjoy que no?!).

I feel that he is trying to seduce me. We text late at night and is always wants to know how I am doing. We even talked about sex between us and it usually never get serious other than just messaging another about the occasional “is we had sex how what are my rules and such”.  We both know we can’t have any serious relationship since we are both focused on our own path, would it be awkward if I have sex with him and keep him as my trainer?

I am stumped and can’t seem to decide what I am doing here. I tend to just go with the texts since its nice to get a break from working and things could be spicer in the sheets. But again, I haven’t slept with another man in 5 years so there’s that (came out of a long relationship 6 months ago ).

Just started training with him 2 months ago and I feel that sex is over the horizon!

To sleep with him or to not sleep with him and keep the PT relationship, that is the questions ?

Thanks for listening!

XOXO

Brielle

Dating, relationships

I’m Ready. Should I Have the Relationship Conversation?

Hello Tavion,

I’ve been a big fan of you for a while now and can’t help but appreciate all that you’re doing.

I need your help!! I’ve been dating very active lately and I’ve been lucky to meet some pretty cool people. Some, I have gone on multiple dates and hang out with a couple of times.

Through this process, I met a guy who seems to be the one that I can finally commit to and build a relationship with. He is exactly what I’ve been looking for in a significant other. Getting to know each other within the last one month has been amazing.

I actually think I am kinda falling for him. But the gag is, he is moving back home.

He has been here on a student visa and now that he has graduated it’s been hard for him to find a job forcing him to move back home. We’ve literally been in a relationship but without the title. He is friends have become my friends and vice versa. He is older by 6 years and has experienced everything you can imagine in his past relationships (The good, bad and the ugly, long distance, toxic and abusive…. etc).  His last relationship ended in January and since then, he has been on a journey of self-care finding himself and falling back in love with himself.  I guess my question is how do I go about having the conversation about this? I definitely want something more (EXCLUSIVITY and all) but I don’t want to be the rebound guy as well or rush him into something he might not be ready for.

Should I just let the chips fall where they may? Should I be completely up-front about my feelings?

Thanks,

Victor

relationships

My Long-Distance Boyfriend Cheated, and He’s Not Sorry

Hey,

I just got your page now from my friends, and I see that u always helping people. I just want to share my relationship with you.

So I’ve been in a relationship for one year and its long-distance relationship. We love each other, and we always have each other’s back when both of us in bad situations. I love him so much, and I threw many people away because they weren’t him. And I stopped talking to another guy because it wasn’t him. But for 3 months, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me. I knew that he is cheating from the way he talks to me, but I didn’t have any proof at that time.  And a few days ago, I found out I was right because I know that he is sleeping with other girls. And after all, he said to me he didn’t feel bad about what he did to me. He just feels sad to his girls for now. Idk what I should do. Should I forgive him? And why did he do that to me?

Thanks, I will be happy if u reply to me 🙂

Dating, friendship

Should I Tell My Friend to Break Up with Her Boyfriend

Hey, if you don’t mind keeping this anonymous.

So today my best friend was getting hit with a rubber band which ofc was leaving markings and everything. She was getting hit with the rubber band by a kid that she talks to but they aren’t really “friends.” Let’s call him “Jose.” Okay anyways she was telling Jose to stop hitting her and he wouldn’t, then this kid that has a crush on my friend said to stop and tried to make him stop but Jose still didn’t. (Note I wasn’t in her class) but so here’s the problem, my friend’s boyfriend was sitting in the table behind her while this was all happening and not doing a thing about it but he knew it was happening. Also that for the past two weeks they haven’t had an actual conversation. Besides all of this, my friend wants to know what I would say to him if I were going to. I just don’t know how to write it.

-R

Dating

In Love with a Roommate Who Wants Someone Else

Hi T,

Here’s the situation. I was dealing with a guy that I had strong feelings for. He didn’t have as deep of a connection for me as I did him. We talked and we became friends, very good platonic friends. A few months later we become roommates. I moved into his home renting a room. Things are great, I’ve had my overnight company, a friend visiting from out of town.

Recently, he’s started having a local consistent friend stay overnight. For whatever reason, I’ve become bothered by this. I don’t know why. We were never together. In hindsight, I can acknowledge that. I openly accept that he and I aren’t supposed to be together. He has had people come over, they did whatever they did, and they’d leave. I don’t know why I’m feeling bothered by my friend finding someone he can spend time with consistently. Can you help me process this?

Confused AF

relationships

I Found Out My Aunt Has Been Dating My Ex for Two Years

Hi, I really need some advice. I just figured out my aunt has been dating my ex-boyfriend for about 2 years. I don’t think either of them knows that I’m her niece. This guy I was almost engaged to and I had helped him pick a house out that now my aunt is going to live in. It’s been 10 years and we only broke up because my uncle who I lived with at the time told my ex whopper lies. I’m so hurt and I just don’t know what to do? How do I tell my aunt without wanting to punch her and scream at her?

-Brandy

Pop Culture, The Lifestyle

5 Tips to Save You Money, Time, and Aggravation During Pride Weekend

While I know Pride Season has already technically begun, I usually don’t think it starts until DC Black Pride Weekend. Granted I might have a bias for the weekend because I’m all too familiar with the area and typical events. But, this particular pride occasion also coincides with usually warm weather and Memorial Day Weekend, so it brings all sorts of people from the LGBT spectrum out. If you’ve never been, allow me to tell you that the few days can be quite eventful.

However, the weekend can be the wrong kind of eventful under the wrong circumstances. As with all things, this particular weekend has its share of horror stories. You can probably find past participants that will claim to have been in a fight, hooked up with the wrong guy, got too drunk, lost a wallet, lost a man, and as well as been a part of a plethora of other issues.

And having myself fallen into one of the above categories, I’ve decided to give some words of advice to encourage any of you attending DC Black Pride (and really any pride this summer) to be better. Keep reading as I go over five tips to help you save money, time, and aggravation as you go out and celebrate you for being you.

relationships

I’ve Lost Weight and My Boyfriend Gained Insecurity

Hi T,

I’ve been reading through your site and thought you had some good advice so I’m going to try this out. I’m having a problem with my boyfriend that’s really getting on my nerve lately. To give you a little background, over the past six months I’ve lost about 48 lbs and look the best I have in a minute. My boyfriend was initially very support of the weight loss, but over the last few weeks he’s gotten super clingy and possessive. I just don’t know where any of this is coming from. Appreciate the insight.

-New Me, But Not Who Dis

P.S., we’ve been together for over a year.